exclamation points

A day like this is one of those days you've been counting on even if you realize you need to stop counting so hard on the last day of the month.

Nonetheless, blog readers everywhere, I am for grateful for today (exclamation points).


Next book to read is the newest whatever by Dave Ramsey.

the yes man

He asks, "Are you doing what you need to do?"

"The sleep?"

"Yes. Those commitments you made, are you still committed?"

"Yes. I have to. I finished work at 10:30 last night, but I did my hill this morning and got in a little late at 8:00. Then I went straight to work and had plenty of ideas on how to solve the day before's problems. This is for me. Not you."

"I'm proud of you. Good job."

"But if I look at you on Friday and say I'm out the door off to Perdido, that's when you say."

He cuts me off which he is prone to do. "Ms. Goff, have you ever heard of Isaac Hayes?"

"I've heard the name. Jazz?"

He shakes his head.

"R&B?"

"R&B. Old soul. It's good stuff."



Today I am grateful for a teacher who will make me write the same sentence over and over until he doesn't even have to ask anymore.

energy

He is one of my very favorite people who can spontaneously put on a show in a burst of all that is genius wherever he goes. So when he walks up to me with that shine in his eyes and I say,

"Let's do this."

"Now?"

"Yes."



Today I am grateful for him, his energy, and his generosity with me.

go to bed

Some days are going to be sweet potato days. It's just like that.

Today I am grateful for the patience of others and other foods.

Diet/Lifechange/Vij's Book/Whatever This Is Update:

I'm grateful but getting bored so it doesn't sound like I'm grateful for raw broccoli, cauliflower, celery, peppers, red seedless grapes, cherries, sous vide chicken, tuna, salmon, and almonds. Good food. What a first world problem to be complaining about plenty of food that is good for my body. And water. So much clean, drinking water. It seems I am spoiled. I am.

birds

Today I am grateful for a plan and a place.

get over and get on

"Praise. Emphasize. Correct."

He asks, and I answer wrong and then try to replay the whole scene in my head of how in the world did I look at that and say what I did. There is no excuse.



Today I am grateful for forgiveness from both him and me.

climb

The Pinhoti

He climbed a mountain this week. He spent three hours alone climbing. He called to say, "Someone just set a new speed record on the Pinhoti. Six days averaging 60 miles per day."



Today I am grateful for mountains.

half a Bubba's bacon cheeseburger

Yesterday was rest my body because my body felt tired after a week. So no hill and I cheated by eating after five. It was the rest of the black eyed peas. Today I am up early for a slow candle lit Leon Bridges mix morning.

31 days, and I finally see him to ask him.

Hey.
Hey.
I want you to eat half a Bubba's bacon cheeseburger with me.
Okay.
Well, we have to do it on this certain day because I've been working toward something.
Me, too.
So you will?
Yes.
Okay.



Today I am grateful for shadow boxing and a sweet phone call.

ROI

I have three hours before Wednesday can make up for Tuesday's lack. And yes, I know that you never get back all the benefit of a good night's rest, but Wednesday felt the consequences and knew Thursday was coming and sleeping late is permitted when you require it to live.


Today I am grateful to wake up late but still before daylight and for a guy who allows me some flexibility in scheduling.

thank you, blog

It is the dark, cold, alone of a freeze when the faucets have to drip and I return to the closet to add another layer while outwardly saying to myself, "This may not be the smartest thing you did."

It wasn't, but it did feel good to move and breathe and push and do good for myself first thing in the morning.


Today I am grateful for layers of clothing, a familiar incline, motivation to get up, music, and how this blog allows me to stall for just a bit before all that.

work; she is the smell of coffee

Today I am grateful for a desk, chair, a computer, an assignment, more than one,
and people.


;



The hill becomes the coffee, and these temperatures are perfect for it. She texts to come and borrow something, and I ask, "Can I make you some coffee?"

"Yes."

I am grateful for the smell of coffee.

a day on, not a day off

I already have in mind what I will do for my day in service. It's another one of those declared days where you have to do something that someone else said to do, but he said it by living it so yeah.


Today I am grateful to know my service and to do it gladly.

two kids and a puppy

The day we found out how to cross the road without crossing the road I sent him a picture with a text. Ask them where we were when I took this photo.


Today I am grateful for water falling over rocks, a creek, briars, and brush so thick it's a wonder I could get through. I am grateful for an evening gig with two kids and a puppy.

focus

She reminds me about the vitamin D. Do I think adding 2,000 IU or 50 mcg which is 250% of daily value of a powdered then capsuled vitamin that my body can only process with sunlight, is that right?

Math and science do come back to haunt you.

Anyway, do I think that it is the reason I am feeling better, healthier. My legs and core feel strong from the hill, but I must start working on my arms. I started taking that supplement January of 2019, a whole year of what could have been a building block maybe. Quitting smoking and going hiking with my kid was lifesaving, no doubt. But a personal trainer firing me so that I could watch and photograph him loving to be outside and active was truly an inspiration to buy Vij's book, to stop trying to be better.

"Yes! Be great!" He told me.

My goal is to be off the blood pressure medication by the time my prescription runs out. We'll see, but today I'll start recording my "control your breathing" in a notebook for a future visit to my nurse practitioner.


Today I am grateful that my distraction was always telling me to get focused.

carry and share

I need to carry my food with me so when she says, "I'm so hungry. Shea, do you have anything?"

That's when I pick up my quart jar of water with half a lemon squeezed in it and turn to her in a ready stance before I ask, "What do you need?"

I dig in the food pocket of my pack. All I have is some fruit. I left the dang vegetables at the office. I fear that after eating my 6 grapes and cherries she ran off and ate some salty, processed food.

Today I am grateful to be able to share my fruit.

video

She gets me in thought. She says, "Hey!"
My mind is dancing from her to the clock to the corner of the room to the camera to her.
Stronger this time, "Hey, my other teacher!"

"Huh? Hey!"

"You with us?"

"Yes. Sorry."


But yesterday I got to spend some time with her. Some really listening to what she had to say. And I've said it a million times because I keep saying things over and over again. Teachers come when you need them, but you have to admit you need them.

Yeah.


Today I am grateful for all my teachers and coaches.

late night, late morning

Today I am grateful for sleep and the thought that it may be okay to wake up late on a Wednesday.

Day whatever. Increased energy. Need to walk and work. Can. Grateful.

He says, "Five minutes at the beginning. Five minutes at the end. Look at your calendar."



Today I am grateful for an office, a candle, a calendar, and a leader.




Beans for breakfast, raw vegetables, red peppers, possibility of fancy tuna, and lots o' water from a shiny glass. The hill is the only way to start a day and yesterday I almost ran the whole way.


Almost.
I should expect more.
I do.

Southern Storm

room o' junk

It becomes obvious that when you miss Como, you make a Como. There are still a million printed photos, old books, and CDs I have to go through, but the house feels like jazz now.


Today I am grateful for a weekend, extra energy, and approval.


Day whatever of turbo metabolism and I'm saying the rain doesn't keep me off the hill this morning.

sharpen your saw, he says

There's video not of hiking in the rain. That was one of those backstories . The video is sped up from almost two hours to eleven minutes of a beautiful southern storm when rain and wind and light and dark and sound and music condensed to poof. gone.


He texts, "Did the house land right side up?"



Today I am grateful that the house didn't fly, and the wind here was nice, though it did knock over a porch broom that I still haven't picked up. I am grateful for the hike, mud puddles, and queens. And Matt of whoisMatt Johnson. I am grateful for his tutorial on 4K settings.



Day 18 was the easiest. Relaxed. Two nights of excellent sleep, still not all the way through the night but I only got up once to pee. So yeah, 5 miles of hiking, only cheating with those three items I call essentials and being outside.

the economics of healthy eating - it's not too expensive

The week's grocery bill is $43.29 for one person who is given eight lemons and has three limes left from last week.  I also have three salmon packs (25 grams of protein/ea.), two tuna packs (18 grams of protein/ea.), broccoli, and cauliflower.

This means that it will cost $6.18 to feed myself every day next week. The three most expensive items are chicken (3 skinless, boneless breasts for $8.10), the grapes ($6.79), and the cherries ($6.02). Just the grapes and cherries means I'll be eating $1.83 in grapes and cherries everyday.

Eddy tells me there is a lack of quality produce and higher costs due to the flooding in the delta.
Still. Even buying two skinny stalks of celery @ $1.78 each is better than that big ole bag of chips. And it's better for me.

If I can keep my grocery bill at $200.00 per month, I can eat well and feel good.


Today I am grateful for a book and a commitment.

the day

When I begin to break it down for him I know he's been needing me to break it down for myself. Just the fact that he's willing to meet with me, I appreciate. He's a busy man. It's much easier on him if he can meet with groups of people. But I'm a spoiled brat, and I say, "Hey. Can we meet?"

"Yes. Be here at 8:30."


What a great time. Morning is best. The mind is fresh. The hill got the blood pumping. You started the day with eleven because she called you out when you were bragging on ten. You are proteined out. Buy fruits and vegetables. Six almonds is a snack. Lots of room temperature water can be found everywhere.

Go early into an office that sounds like John Coltrane's "Spiritual".


Take a look at what's on the wall.

Go into that meeting.
Show him what you have done.
What you plan to do.
Ask him if he needs something different.


Today I am grateful for a meeting.

verse in time

Today I am grateful for a ride and a ring. I am grateful to meet new people, to listen. I am grateful for a couch and a nap.

He says, "Change the way you are thinking."
And I don't know what that means.
"Be miserable."?


Grateful.
Right?
Wasn't that what we were supposed to be?



Day 16 I'm starting to lose count but very, very tired from lack of sleep so I give myself an hour and a half nap when I get home around four. While napping I have three pieces of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in the sous vide two hour process. Sporadic sleep is not good according to Vij. You need to have a bedtime ritual. Get 8 - 9 hours a night (I think he said). It's on Friday night!

pace

I tell him, "I have been inspired by him. You know how he sets the pace."

He smiles.

"I want to be more like him."



Today I am grateful for him.





Day 15
Nothing but room temperature water to drink for the past 10 days.
My coffee pot looks lonely and dejected. Should I put her behind a cabinet door.
No, I'll invite friends over for some.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Vij says that appropriate sleep at appropriate hours is so appropriate that it gives you the edge.
It's just math, right?
It'll happen.



Sense of smell is heightened. Hugs are sweeter, but I cheated last night. The cheat was raw cauliflower, broccoli, and celery but with a hidden stash (who the heck am I hiding it from) of blue cheese. It was after hours while I was editing photos, and now I realize another habit I have to break. Chewing on a straw maybe? I'm not going to punish myself today. I am going to remember that this is not some short term fix to a long term problem and this is changing a life, not changing a couple of months.


Do what you know you're supposed to do, get on that hill, work, and relax. Sleep tonight.
Last night was too much this.

people who are famous

I want to write like she tells the story. That he was this little kid who wanted a bike for his birthday, but not just any bike. He saw it as he walked by the storefront window day after day. When his mom asked and all they had was a little more than nothing, his mom smiled. He thought she remembered, and on that morning he just knew he had that bike.

But no.
Nope.
No bike.


It's her pauses. The guitar flashing on the screen behind her.
It's the music. It's a light show.


It's the text she wrote.






"I am whooped," she says.

"Girl, you amaze me."




Day 13 of whatever this new life you're living is different. It's a different environment. You have to take your food on the road, find nice places to eat, have conversations, but at least three of those are while walking, and they are good and though the sleep seems to be the last thing that for whatever reason you're fighting and not just allowing to happen...

It'll come tonight.




Today I am grateful for her.

jazz

Today I am grateful for three meals with eight people,
for an office,
for red pepper,
and good tire pressure.

I am grateful for a destination.


So far 2020 is jazz, and Hubert Sumlin's "Sometimes I'm Right" provides the background music to the morning's preparations after sleeping too late.

All in how it's handled, and I have all day to get in that hill. Right?

never just one thing

The title of Quick's book is now the title of that book, the one I have to carry around with me. Along with a Sharpie. All of us together.

That book.
A sharpie.
And me.


Today I am grateful for time.

I wish I told him

"I've been painting all day."

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"



Today I am grateful for solutions.
I knew something good was coming, but I didn't know it would be this.
It's like she's always said, "6 months from now this is nothing but the greatness which came from it."



Dear me,
All the stories you make up in your head, give three to this one.
Talk it out with the most brilliant people you know.
Love,
me




Day 11: I did ten up and downs before even beginning spending an entire day (only 8 hours) slathering a gallon of agreeable grey on plaster (and carpet and beautiful stained wood and don't they make something to get that off). Is painting isometric exercise? Does isometric exercise mean you're sore afterwards?



Improvement needed:
Wash that towel and clean that bathroom. You left a mess.
And the sleep thing is not working.
It and Ranch serve as my Achilles heel.

today's change with you as the same

Trial Run

You've been gearing up for this. Preparing yourself. You now know it takes 20 minutes, and a shower feels especially good afterwards. You can do this. Nothing to it.


Day Ten: Going from couch to bed, not the easiest, but taking the blood pressure medication in the morning did help. I predict that I can get enough sleep at night in my bed by Monday morning.
We'll see.



Today I am grateful for a return.

everything all the time, establishing boundaries without yelling

On day nine I start early allowing the rain to excuse me from outdoor activity, though the challenge of a dark morning in a rain is admittedly thrilling. Instead I watch a video and decide to paint at a place with a friend.

Today I am grateful to realize when I need sleep and to know all the times when my body and my mind need rest. Also, I know how to get it.



Pro-Tip from Vij: The devices can be nowhere near you. That's even the TV.

(Haven't been able to do that yet. Tonight is books only. A small read for pleasure, Silver Linings Playbook.)

it's a good sign

If only it was exercising in collecting and editing 162 photos, the end of 2019. What will continue in 2020 is my gratitude, but what won't is over 307,000 photos and that feeling I get when I need to get the project which just came to mind that morning done that evening.

Less photos. More slow, controlled study of photography. Bring a whole breathing meditation to what you do for a living. Less reactive, more pro.


Today I am grateful for another year, to begin it on the trail with some of the most awesome people.