things I'm grateful for, a swim

Hazel's eggs

One solid hour of staying afloat and moving forward while one time dodging a kid who wanted to jump on me, that my muscles felt like jello but me - strangely taller and stronger.


She asked, "Have you felt the pool this morning?"

"No. What?"



Today I am grateful for a morning swim without a lap count but an hour one and four accountability partners. I am grateful for a swim team.



"Get yourself an accountability partner," he says.

Note to you ~ I smiled, big too.

milk, money and photos

It's the video at the end of the day an hour after I've fallen asleep.
Sid is dancing. Well, clogging.
I tell her mama, "She has the heart of a country cousin clogger. I might not be able to keep up."


Another rain and he said something about the Information Age and our blip on the screen.
He's driving a tractor and waves. I hope he smiled, too.

She gets some turchickens or turkey-chicken hybrids, turns over a five gallon bucket and sits to stare at them in the pen.


I run around like insanity after Kobe Bryant has given me the mathematics of greatness.
I fail greatly but vow to do better today.


Today I am grateful to hit the word and the hill. I need to walk in the rain.
It's cleansing and means I'm serious about training.

all the pictures I miss

He fishes.

He takes those three girls coon hunting.

He suggests that I add music to the routine.

"A righteous song, you sing it."

"I think mine should be more apologetic."

"Just find one and sing while you're walking up the hill."




Today I am grateful for the 30 minutes I got playing with Barbie and Barbie's car.




He says, "The five-second lady."

Then he stops talking to me.


He says this.

Rodman

First things first, more thank you notes and deliver those you didn't last week.

But wait.
Let's talk about Rodman.

“You don’t put a saddle on a mustang.”

Chuck Daly on Dennis Rodman- Source is The Last Dance

Today I am grateful for a series about a team, a long slow midday almost guiltless nap and good reading.

getting groceries from the farmer

She greets me at the car, welcomes me to the farm and introduces me to the dogs.

Then she goes and fetches my eggs while fetching hens off shelves and throwing them over a fence.

I must not have fully comprehended when people told me how amazing.

Fearless, I think.

Today I am grateful for Hazel and Ivan and eggs and kale and cauliflower and squash and zucchini and tomatoes and miniature turnip roots. I am grateful for the farm and the family.

guacamole with mama (on the list today)

It becomes an excuse to put yourself in it when you're running out of people and there she is willing and able. We work quickly 'cause she has a paying job to go to and it's all insane anyway a first ever episode of us talking about listening with her reading off a script I wrote in the last 10 minutes.

Until she's not reading anymore. It's the real deal.
She is a gift I've been given for minutes, hours, trails, books, movies, 40 hills and
there at the end we say thank you almost simultaneously to each other.

"I love you."

"I love you."


Today I am grateful for her, for them and for the opportunity to share some guacamole with mama.

notes from the kid

Dan is back with Common Sense.

"It's the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. Doom is the operative ethic."
Hunter S. Thompson

Here is the Jon Stewart Crossfire episode he mentioned.

choreographer

If there ever was a time and place of complete perfection and there were many, at least one would be when Seasick Steve came up on the screen. That was a helluva start to a beautiful Thursday night playlist. You help me to realize how little I've been listening to music lately till yesterday morning when I got in my car and this.


Today I am grateful that every day brings a new chance to just break out into a dance.


Thank you for the music.

thank you, love

Six thank you notes a day.
One general statement.


Dear you,

You of my dreams, my frustrations, my desire, my anger, my love, my need, my loss.
Thank you.

May you always be, my love.
me

it hasn't changed the way I shop

It's a road trip for an oil change. You just gotta do it. Get your oil changed by the people who change the oil in the car they sold you. Anyway, you get to travel to the land of produce. And this land of produce is beautiful. And they're only allowing a certain number in and it's been weeks for me and oh, thank you, asparagus, broccoli, grapes, avocados, purple onion, tomatoes, chicken. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.




Today I am grateful for my car, for a new hair color, a woman who was willing, and two boxes of thank you notes. I gotta get to mailing.

Mr. Tfue

Time to build the pool house.


Today I am grateful for those people who don't even have enough time to nod when I'm talking about working hard. Or no, he does nod while he's working. I'll just go jump in the creek.

two shows with daddy

I pack up some black eyed peas and make me a cup of coffee. I sit in his chair at 7:50. It takes three minutes to find where ESPN is, but I do it and there's Peyton Manning doing a Chicago Bears skit.
A tribute to Ditka.

Then at 8:00 it begins.
At 8:06 the satellite goes out.
At 8:17 it comes back on again.
And there's Last Dance.
Then immediately a series of commercials.
It's been years. I forgot how long they were.

But it's worth it.
Because though I missed some I didn't miss my daddy walking into that room (his), acting shocked to see me, a slight scream to cause a laugh after seeing me in his recliner watching his TV on his way to the bathroom. Why in the world would I tell the internet that, he would ask me.

He sat down to watch it with me.
Episodes 3 and 4 next Sunday. Short term goals are a thing.


Today I am grateful for an example, for a man who loved his mama and daddy and family and had twins and learned to fly because his daddy told him he couldn't. It's a beautiful story. I am grateful to watch his with mine.



And good morning, you. Thank you for the note.

porch sitting

It's a porch morning in a cold rain hitting the tin. He could tell me what kind of bird that is but I don't much care. I just care that I got a good night's sleep.

Today I am grateful for rest and porch sitting.

you on a Saturday, part two

Coffee, water and a dance party in the living room at 4:48 in the morning.
"Decide what you want and ask for it," you say or maybe that's me.





Today I am grateful for homesteaders and friends and talk of chickens and ducks and I may have gone overboard on the quail.

throw it out there

It's in the throws of the three-quarter mark,
that time in the project when I'm so in I can't back out,
but I could.
I could throw it away.
Say it was just learning.

But I won't because people committed time and effort and said yes and followed through.
Completing the project is the least I could do.
I should write them a thank you note, too.

And isn't there that point in every project
when you doubt yourself, but
that's kind of what life is like,
doubting yourself then pushing through.
Right?

Today I am grateful for a deadline,
a timeline,
projects to complete,
happy hour tonight,
dinner Saturday evening,
and a visit from two beautiful women who I hugged in secret.

I am grateful for the weekend.

frost's road not taken

I tell him that I love him.
He says it to me, too.
He will recite Frost's poetry for the kids.
We have one witness.

I read a book about an acorn who grows to be a huge oak
to an acorn who will one day grow to be a huge oak.
She holds the acorn but is not ready to explain it to me.
Or maybe she does, and I just want her to say something else.


Today I am grateful for a practice field, a desk, a young man and voices.

down, down into the black depths

You brought it. Thank you.
The Revivalists - Cold combination is reminiscent of that year.
You, Dan and I around a fire barrel basically.
But we have to bring these people, too.



Forty-one degrees means I can see the stars clearly.


Today I am grateful for kind people, a successful meeting and you.

Dan

Measure the walls. Count the ribs. Notch the long days.
Look up for blue sky through the spout. Make small fires
with the broken hulls of fishing boats. Practice smoke signals.

Call old friends and listen for echoes of distant voices.
Organize your calendar. Dream of the beach. Look each way
for the dim glow of light. Work on your reports. Review
each of your life's ten million choices. Endure moments
of self-loathing. Find the evidence of those before you.

Destroy it. Try to be very quiet, and listen for the sound
of gears and moving water. Listen for the sound of your heart.

Be thankful you are here, swallowed with all hope,
where you can rest and wait. Be nostalgic. Think of all
the things you did and could have done. Remember
treading water in the center of the still night sea, your toes,
pointing again and again down, down into the black depths.

                            from "Things To Do in the Belly of the Whale" by Dan Albergotti

five point two miles

Forty hills, the girls and I agree, have never been attempted before. It was, in fact, the first time anyone at any of our ages had ever even considered the 40 climbs up that hill and back.

History was being made in the form of we needed a baseline time and that time, I hoped, would be one minute. It wasn't. The official baseline times in the history of the world right there were as follows:

The girl who is our lead steer and trains the best of runners because she is the best
got a 1 hour 11 minutes.

I was 15 minutes behind her at 1 hour and 26.

But the other one came in telling us she wasn't going to do all 40. She would do 20, and ended up at about hill 12 saying, "I'll do 19."

That's when the lead steer told her, "No. You'll do 21."

The other one did all 40 in 1 hour and 51 minutes.
I told her people that I ain't ever seen anything like her. Olympics, that one.


Today I am grateful to have people who set the pace and inspire.






"Aunt Shea."
"What?"
"You know what my teacher told me?"
"What?"
"We were taking this test and she told us that we weren't competing against anyone else in the room. Do you know who she told us we were competing against?"
"No. Who?"
"Ourselves."

Olympics, that one.

Thankful for your response.

existential

Your chair, a cup of coffee and some music.
Here's to hoping you still exist.


Today I am grateful for safety, a roof, the trees still standing and a new day.

children at play

11.2 miles yesterday.
Today I am grateful for the rain.

I now pronounce you partner in this blog, official contract writing

It's not my blog. It's ours, I think. And this new way of commenting is not my idea or doings. I just can't seem to undo it and I've thought to contact google and say, "Hey, all of my google identities have meshed into a system controlled by the company I work for and the company I work for is the government. So there's that.


And also you're spoiling me by providing me with writing prompts.


Like this. You are kind and brilliant and that is a gorgeous way to tell a beautiful story.
This came next. Then the beginning. The blues. You would love Como.

Then.

I just nodded through that last one.


Happiness is only real when shared is what Krakauer said McCandless wrote in the end.



Today I am grateful that this is not just my blog. Surely it's ours.

Bob

you on a Saturday

I like getting up to your voice. First, I check the comments. Two, one I already know.
A selfie is something I can't do right now. June 1st is my selfie goal date, but I don't know. I'm not making the progress I want. Did get the 10 miles in yesterday. Looking forward to today's.

I see the link.
Make the coffee.
Sit.
Take breath.
Copy.
Edit.
Paste.
Bam.
Dang.
You don't disappoint.


Today I am grateful for the pain in my thighs and the heels of my feet. I am grateful for a huge group of people, a store, some extra fast internet and ways to still communicate with people. I am grateful for your interest and your music.

distance

Today is about distance. How far in two days if I was to push like it's a special holiday weekend and times like that I could eat less chocolate bunnies and focus on taking better care of myself. Ten miles a day at four miles per hour for two days. Then five on day three. Twenty-five miles in three days. I will be sore but the kind of sore that feels good.


Today I am grateful for 30 laps and the kid beside me who did 22.

win-win

What used to be a hike has turned into a swim and enough splashing drama packed into an hour to provide some exercise and time with the kids.


Today I am grateful for the space they created, access to it and the beautiful soul who sent me this.

on our soundtrack, the brooke

in response

Yes. Thank you for checking, and I apologize if I should be checking on you. I not only hope but tell myself that all the people I know are doing well because of all the people I know that they know - that we all have people.

I know we all don't and I am crazy lucky to be surrounded by people who grow and share food, a job that's still willing to pay me right now and money being sent to my bank from the president. I am doing well, and I hope you are, too.

what is still

I've never interviewed by email before now, and my mind struggled with it at first. Would it end up being some type of harassment, the back and forth, until at least 500 words? Two email interviews yesterday, one completed, one started and completed. Both wrapped in such honest, beautiful language that they almost sing off the page.


I am so very, very grateful for young, vibrant minds who are willing to type their answers to me.

screenshots

It is the slowest roll of the eyes, that smirk her kids miss.

Today I am grateful to see her and them and pick up and drop off and connect and a little sun from around the clouds peeking in. The birds are already singing.

losing the trekking poles

I lost my trekking poles, sat in a parking lot and thought to call her because of him.


Today I am grateful for a creek, a pool, a water hose, and some extra time to spend with some extraordinary people.

quitter lusts about a year

Always want what we can't have or we just didn't quit. I quit. I have quit many people, not in anger. It goes beyond that. It's I do hope the best for you, but I don't feel what I felt so I don't even trust me anymore to know if what I feel is correct. I just know that when I feel it, I feel it. General love and compassion are real, but passion for me has been short-lived.



Today I am grateful for your note. I've been listening to a lot of your dream weaver.

lament by Chet Baker

Today I am grateful for avocado, purple onion, tomato, jalapeño pepper, lemon, garlic, and an extra bowl for her. I am grateful for the time he gave me and that he was kind enough to walk away.

change in altitude

I've been bracing for a change ever since, you know, the change of everything except what we could grip into our arms and hold close. I've had access to a fat baby threatened to be taken away at five today.

"Just go out for only the essentials," they say.





Today I am grateful for a fat baby, sunlight, stars in the sky, a roof over my head, running water, electricity, and food. And I am grateful for a bunch of kids who volunteered for a last minute project before we all shelter in place.

rethinking the porch lights

Creating Como

Today I am grateful for the ability and invitation to walk outside my house into the sunlight, to see friends, to celebrate with them, to read and write.

no foolin'

They
suggest I read Maya Angelou's A Brave and Startling Truth,
but I love when she reads
it.


I am grateful for the challenge of being more still.

I love your brain (in response and then some)

First your words "if you're responding to me, if not."
Then Adele's Cold Shoulder.



I tell her, "I'm sad. I was in the same room with him today, and he wouldn't even look at me and I couldn't imagine what I did to him. I mean I just don't understand why."

"It's not about you. It's him," she seems certain.




Pearl Jam's Come then Goes to a video showing where Vedder's voice echoes best.
One moment I spend complaining is a moment I'm missing all the grace and love and beauty around me. I know you know what I'm talking about, and I'm glad you came here with something to say yesterday. I had started listening to the crickets and reminding myself of how fortunate I am for the ability to hear.



Then Five Finger Death Punch, you beautiful, beautiful I love you and am so grateful that you're here.



Last night I was in a meeting and someone passed me a song. I'm going to listen to it for the first time now.



Today I am grateful for you, a bus ride and countryside, fire stations and kids' faces, and two women who put on costumes and perform.