RSA requirements, and the list will continue.

"You look like gold," he sings. I fell in love with writers, creators, organizers, and influencers and found out I was a dominant.

"You look like gold. Shiny like gold," he continues.

I can be a little much and that's the nicest way to say it. Perfect love is all Ella Mai wants, and there is no such which makes it perfect. Imperfect people set really high bars, and if they do for others, they better do so for themselves.

I think the people I love make me want to do better though I should just want to be better in general.
 (I guess but my favorite is to be better for someone else. I pick people better than me. Maybe I make them worse. It is a possibility. I am a risky risk taker.)

Better today meant day number fifteen when I write, "One day I am going to stop counting."

And he writes, "Don't stop counting."

But he didn't get it. I should've written, "I want to stop counting. You did. Didn't you?"

Sometimes it's a wave. Sometimes it's a hill. Ride it or hike it. Otherwise known as the day I was grateful to have so many reasons and so many people who inspire me to destroy the pack of cigarettes I found under the nasty trash in my car today.


RSAs are not perfect, but they are nice and slow and a day off work. No birthdays. No holidays. No I have to meet your mama. Invitation only and not many are given. Only two, I believe. Both of them end up being invitations to myself. I wasn't gold enough for either of them. I'm just trying to be golder here. I'll get there. No worries.


Because there is a twenty-six year old guy in the best shape of his life who has vowed to stay with me as I climb a hill or mountain or I wonder what I will call it as I'm clawing it. He promises to call me out if he hears a complaint.

And, you know what?
He should.

I am grateful for this shallow breath I can still catch.
I am grateful for this rest on this log.
I am grateful to take these shoes off.
I am grateful to take off the socks.
I am grateful for the trail in front of me.
I am grateful for the trail behind.
I am grateful for this blanket, this pad, this tarp tent being held by these trekking poles.
And the backpack carrying it.
I am grateful for this kid.