confessions

Four and a half hours of one nap doubling the other and that one followed by the same amount of relaxing. But at some point I was going to have to type, edit, post, upload, hear my name, look up and say,

"Yeah."

She's leaning against the fence. Smiling. I recognize her face. "May I ask you a question."

"Yes," I wave a finger at the computer, raise my eyebrows as if she knows my secret language of Do you mind if I work while I listen? Ridiculous, but she does and lets me know by nodding. I look down at my computer, choose the next photo and hear,

"Why do you take pictures of people?"

Again. I look up and see such a kind, sincere face on a head that's tilted as if it's a great Friday night and it is.

What you know at this point is that you must, must search your heart for the deepest answer to let this child know you are sincerely, best song ever written, how did I ever get this lucky, it wasn't me, I am in awe of a question that must be answered that quickly, with economy, what do I say to let her know I am not worthy of the opportunity?

An orator, I am not.

"I started when I was in high school. I was you but I took photos for the annual staff and our advisor had them build us a darkroom and we got to watch those pictures we took come to life while soaking in pans. The pictures, not us. It's just a passion and I never knew it could be this great and I am so lucky and blessed and I could just pinch myself."

I stop. She smiles. I think I need to ask her what she wants to do but instead pause to see if she'll tell me. She doesn't and it's just a moment of wondering if what I said is okay to her. Then I look down and start editing the photo in front of me.



Today I am grateful for a job I love so much it scares me that I will never be able to come up with an answer to that question which should fully give that young woman the hope I never even thought I could have for the future.

I just want it for her as well.