It's a jolt to the system. As simple as a squeaking door. As complicated as there is a history here. The now decorated scar of a feeding tube.
"I told him that I wanted him to make it beautiful."
She models the acanthus leaf that Doug from Oxford Tattoo Company began on her body.
We sit at the table and talk.
"What is it with suffering?" I ask. "He says that his best times were times of suffering? Why is that? Why do we say that?"
She nods and as if she's thought about it a million times. Says, "Suffering through something makes you feel empowered. When you suffer through something you feel strong. I found my voice and all of a sudden I'm not afraid anymore."
Yes, it hurt, but she's getting another one, "I want to extend it around my side and up. Here," she picks up her phone. "Let me show you."
They are beautiful, her plans. And she has a lot of hope like the dream she had last night of a beach, an apartment, and her mom. She doesn't smile. She beams.
A lot like the light I find here.
We laugh because we're having the same problem right now and were both wondering if we were mentally ill. And yes, the jury is still out but at least we know we're not alone in this. It is messy Como sessions, socked feet, blankets, pillows, a stocked fridge, and ohemmgee the friends.
Today I am grateful for a day to think about the insanity, the love, the opportunity, the how we just picked up where we left off, and how I will always, always want us to be.
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