first day hike tomorrow

 

Got my medal in the mail today, and it was perfect.

Thank you, 2020, for a first! 

a walk in the park

 

Today I am grateful for a walk and a reason.

why you should have a general reply set up, 2020

 It's a great question and one I need to at least acknowledge. He needs a list, and I don't know how to tell him to get it and the girl I'd ask is on break and break means we're not working right now but I'd like for you to know that when we're not on break, we're getting back to you. Why in the world would I not have a general reply set up by now? 

Today I am grateful for a break, mouse killings, rags, running water in the kitchen sink, a good broom, a thick mop, that bald man and a party with the girls.

We don't ever leave a year without him.

child, please - you were born yesterday

 I got as close as I could get and your mama tried to FaceTime me, but I think she may have seen the inside of my ear because I am not your technology guru. I am not a guru. I am just one of many who likes to consider herself at your service and part of your family. Sweet baby, we've been waiting on you.

Today I am grateful for good health and great care and sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet sweet. Cherries cleaned, rinsed, bagged, cold and coming to the front porch of your place. Welcome home, precious. 

the good stuff has holes in it

 I think to ask you where was she but instead we worry because at the moment a crisis is happening and we'll get back to that.

Today I am grateful for four boxes and four bags of not new but not so bad stuff to be given to people who know people who can use it. Two more rooms going down today.

socks first

 

 I must write to you but first, the socks. Then the bed. Another mouse ran across the floor last night. All the rest of whatever 2pointO2pointO anger remained in me did seeth out at that poor animal. He knew I was not his friend and he most likely watched me set the trap for him. No signs this morning but I know I scared him enough that there is mouse crap somewhere. 

Problem solving limited water in the kitchen today. The best handyman ever says it'll be Monday before he has the part. 24 hours is not long to wait. Plus, he's crazy cheap and was already solving the problem while I was away.

A good mouser - $50 for a week.

Today I am grateful for my dad, a good mouser, a kid and a beautiful wife who works like a fein and cooks like a chef and loves my kid and shared her home with me. 

rise and shine

 

Today I am grateful for the morning.

In response, thank you for the comment and the music. Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve - 2 photos

 

Today I am grateful for family, a warm bed and a snow covered porch.

all I want for Christmas

 

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to climb with my kid.

gear up

 I'm not fast enough yet. He can average between 4 and 5 miles an hour on a flat surface but he is questioning his ability to maintain it for 26.2 miles. If he does it, he'll be finished in a little over five hours. I would have to cut 3.5 hours off my time to keep up with him but I'm not going to give up trying and obviously he doesn't.

In response, you sure know how to put a series of videos together. Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Today I am grateful for family and space and morning light and candlelit and cleaning out and straightening. 

Never again, I said to him.

 It really is the worst to think how many people you see but don't see in a day. I try to always wave, but when I get amongst a crowd I focus to cope. Sounds like an excuse, I know.

"You never get to build with them," she said.

It's all good, he typed.

"No, it isn't," I said.

Today I am grateful for Leonard Cohen in a Christmas program, a sweet baby on the way, a walk and forgiveness for being late. Yes, I am ashamed. I should be. 

yeah okay but it's Christmas break

 Today I am grateful for ribs and sauce and dips and jalapeños and chips but I did. I did prep and eat a lot of celery, broccoli, green peppers and ranch. I just ate a lot of that other stuff too and straight up gluttony and not enough movement.

I can do better.

But the sleep, the sleep is beautiful and breakfast and singing and taking photos of friends and walking in a park. Plus, wrapping presents and cleaning.

walk

I am dehydrated and weak. I have not been taking care of myself, but I am not going to give up.

Inky says, "Go hard!" 

Today I am grateful to walk and climb and drink three jars of water and prep some food that's good for me. 

fresh air

 Today I am grateful for the delivery, the pictures, the brothers who will help me decide what to give. I am grateful for extra, macaroni and cheese, turkey, strawberry congealed salad, mixed vegetable casserole, turnip greens and that photo from last year.

in response, yes

 In my opinion, you are correct.

Today I am grateful for your presence.

What are you taking?

 It's the question and the answers given: courage, commitment, contentment - the three c's - the Coffee Bean book, faith, family, children, and the small things.

"A small positive is still a positive," she says.

Today I am grateful for those who lead.

celebrating monday

 Today I am grateful for time, conversation, kids, steaks, and notes from a teacher.

no cat needed

Today I am grateful for a trap, a quick he didn't even know what happened or she didn't know or I did't know - it's over. I am grateful for a broom, a rag, a mop, a loss and a win. In the flashlight lit kitchen of he wouldn't stop scratching I gave him fair warning. I told him that he could leave that night, no feelings hurt, no charge for the clean up, but I'm serious when I say it's become more than you, I told him. You are on the very tiny cusp of why isn't anything working this year. I have to at least solve the problem of you, little mouse. 

lifted

 Today I am grateful for three younguns, a prayer so sweet it scared me, a stage, a store, beads for bracelets and a pavilion we now claim.

I ask her in the most serious tone, "Am I too old to wear a crown?"

She smiles when she says, "Yes."

Thank you for the music. Welcome home.

rooster, bullfrog, crickets? and that mouse

Cat rental? I'll pay you for a week with your best hunter/destroyer/understander of humans don't really want to see death we just want you to do it and then remove it. There's a mouse in the kitchen and that is nasty and it's gotta be killed and it's not eating the poison but I did. I had chips and ribs and whiskey last night. Today I am grateful for an early morning open door less rain more water dripping, lit porch, two candles, tiny lights, plenty of water, the ability to take the garbage out and a jacket.

new backpack

 

Today I am grateful for good padding, plenty of pockets and a place to hold my water.

keeping the pace

"Control your breathing," were some of his first words to me. 

"Trust the process," he said. 

Then wrote, "Time is nonrefundable."

Today I am grateful for time to stand with him in a room, to have his ear, to pace, to listen.

I am also grateful that Adriene stretches me.

Spins the earth right on it's axis.

training for the season

 Today I am grateful for dark chocolate and beignet coffee, 

a sleepiness, 

a cold which turns my breath into tiny crystals in the air around me,

the layers of clothing,

and the sound of bridges.

bequeath

 

This guy goes to the kid. 

Today I am grateful for that moment and that thing.

German chocolate

 

The eggs and butter are out. The recipe is on the computer. This one is fancy. I'm using Ghirardelli cocoa and Baker's German's sweet chocolate, Great Value's organic coconut and Fisher's pecan halves, and I think that matters, but I don't know.

Today I am grateful for knowing I don't know.

the never-ending road - 2 images

 

not remembering the swing but remembering being told that the path would be flat

underestimated and wore the wrong shoes

pizza and commiserating

When two people say that they are going to get up and be ready and actually take off on a 26-mile walk with me, my heart swells.  And then she writes to say how proud. And daddy does the whole thing with me. And my kid. My kid came and walked with me. And Hannah sat on a beautiful swing. And the weather

yes. Marathon recommended.

Today I am grateful for a race, a purpose, a day and help. 

I only gave them $40 and I already know that there are at least 40 other reasons to give to someone other than them. But I needed to do some general good and I don't give much. And it's Christmas. And they are kids and they have families and I need to write them a card every month. I need to give more. I know that.

saving the chicken thighs for the evenin'

 Today I am grateful for a visit, a stay, a welcome home meal and Saturday's race. Mama just wanted an adventure for Christmas. Totally selfish, this thing.

speaking when spoken to - finally

 My assignment is to keep my mouth shut. My daddy has said multiple times, "Keep your mouth shut."

"But."

"No.         Shut."

That he has to tell me twice is the shame.

"My toes are trying to get out of the marathon."

He stops, turns, walks back and sits in the chair next to me.

"I'm your Dead Sea," Wesley sings.

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to speak and open my heart and open my mind but then to keep my mouth shut.

the dubya

 There's just something to be said about kids winning.

I am grateful that they share it.

plugged in

 

Today I am grateful for the job.

get mark, get set, go Monday

Get busy. Drink water. Eat what you know you're supposed to eat. Prepare your meals. Double digits. Finish 2020 strong. Marathon on Saturday.

Today I am grateful for grapes, celery, broccoli, green and yellow peppers, seared chicken thighs in a spicy vinegar sauce, Ranch, hot sauce and the opportunity for fresh air and movement.

no fever

 Never have I ever, never ever stayed in a bed till 2:00 in the afternoon. Still couldn't but the way I wasted water I shouldn't admit to. Steaming hot water beating my lower back. The pain began at 4:00 a.m. By 3:00 I was ready to take my fifth warm shower to the music of the steady rain though an open door but I picked up that book and began to read again.

Today I am grateful for a book and a buddy on a rainy day.

holiday music

 He doesn't need my input. She looks up and to her left where her smile is met and we all share a knowing glance but you know family. She doesn't want to shoot a deer. All her friends have blood soaked faces in the pictures. She does not want that, and all I said was I understand before I was told my input was unneeded.

And oh my my, oh hey hey. 

Here it comes, the will to wait.

The Lumineers 

Today I am grateful for family.

looking back - the first meet

Today I am grateful for some ladies who like to hang out together and a sun and a light and whoever ordered that temperature, that sky.

Nice playlist. Found Ray there as well.

happy thanksgiving

 It's the worst - a day to top all other days on giving thanks. Just the pressure alone could kill me but then you add mama's dressing, granny's turnips, turkey, ham, potato casserole with green onion, sharp cheddar cheese and bacon on top, apple cake with a brown sugar glaze found in cyberspace and them. 

Today I am grateful for the crickets, the timer, the refrigerator humming. I am grateful for thick socks, furry boots, a birthday and a candle. I am grateful for a broom, a mop, a stack of old towels turned into rags and a dog who is interested in me finishing. I am grateful for big hills, a good rain and a warm shower.

I am grateful for you.

choice - decision

 It was supposed to be 29.9 miles within 32 hours. We were not racing but we had to get back by 6:00 the next evening, and a storm was coming through and that last 24 hours before you leave is the most tempting time to give up on the whole thing.

Today I am grateful to understand there must have been a reason to not walk into the woods in the rain, set up a tent in the rain, take down a tent in the rain, climb mountains in the rain, cross creeks in the rain, lean up against a tree in the rain, never stopping some forward trudging in the rain, everything in the rain. I am grateful he made the call.

home to Moon Hollow

 

Today I am grateful that my daddy got his dog back.

70 percent chance

 Today I am grateful for clean sheets and a warm bath, a roof over my head, an appointment to get my hair cut and the promise of lunch with a friend.

Heddy

 

Today I am grateful for a lively Saturday night and a rainy Sunday morning.

him of use to

It is evident that I should suffer the consequences of the Eric Clapton concert in Memphis, the one in which the guy had given me one more chance to not fall asleep. We were on a double date with his roommate and that guy's lady and I didn't really know the people but I knew that they knew about me because I was introduced as you know, the girl that goes to sleep. This concert was my last chance, he explained to both them and me.

I don't remember what number chance it was, but I do know it was the last, and I do remember holding a flag for single momdom when work was two jobs, 7 days, 64 hours plus if they'd allow it. It was my baby's nana who I was really dating.

And as hard as I tried and I did try but Eric on acoustic singing blues is Eric singing me to sleep until the wind caused by that guy jumping and then taking those steps as if he was leaving me in the middle of a city. I looked at his roommate's date who looked at me as if they were in a two-seater before I started chasing that guy up and out and I don't know what he paid for him and me to see very little Eric perform on the acoustics, but we didn't and he didn't hit me. He did end up driving me home and never, ever calling me again.

The fairy tale ending came twenty-something years later when you and me didn't even need to leave our comfy seats.

Tonight I am grateful to learn that chicory is a root in the dandelion family, to know a dog who had a hard week and that guy with the ukulele.

experience

 Getting close means finding opportunities to really feel what Inky Johnson meant when he said, "Don't waste the experiences."

Today I am grateful for vulnerability and trust and grace and faith.

on this day

It's very close to three decades since the drive, the push, the realization that what the science books say and the transformation which had taken place did indeed mean a human creates another human or another human is created within a human and it's just getting awkward now because that day, that kid - is the source of all gratitude after it, him.

Today I am grateful for the day I first got to see him, got to know he was a him, got to not even understand but be good with never fully understanding anything except for hoping and working and trying and being the most grateful I can.