It could be a little funny that I thought we were doing that. Sharing a pot of coffee. Now I feel like I can't do this without you but anything more, I do fear, would ruin us.
Today I am grateful for us and this. Are we better or worse without this? I'm clinging to something.
2 comments:
I could justify a pot of coffee as innocent, knowing it wouldn't be. I mean to cause no pain knowing it possibly could or would. The last thing I want out of any of this is to cause a minute amount of the three decades of pain I have carried, I take full responsibility for my own pain. I've always worried about others feelings and what they would think about my true feelings. I have managed/hidden them well. The older I get the harder it seems to keep them contained, guess I'm just not as strong as i once was. Without "this", I believe I would be devastated, crazy I guess. Clinging, I'm gonna say yes for me, with both hands and feet because this is so much more than I have had in a long time. I've never been drawn to anyone or anything like I have been to you, it's a form of addiction I guess. Believe me I have tried so hard to kick it. All that being said, I guess it still doesn't make any of it right. I don't want to risk any of this but I selfishly want that cup of coffee that leads to a slow slow dance to Under your Scars with the volume turned down low. Yes I said that, sorry or maybe I'm not.
Forgot something, you doing this without me. You don't need me for this, I'm probably in the way. I typed that with a smile, because I know how talented you are.
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