cheating with coffee

I was completely off of it. No caffeine and none of those withdrawal headaches when I stopped it. Think of the money I could save by cutting out that habit all year.

But,

I would cheat. Go over to my mom's and drink hers. It started in the afternoon but now the mornings here with the music in the candlelight and sometimes I do wonder if I've lost my mind. It's not just the habits. It's also the rituals we create around them.

All but the kitchen light above the burners are turned off in the house. I can hear the refrigerator running and the clock ticking. I boil the water in the smaller of the two saucepans and unload the dishwasher as the water heats. I pull down the coffee grinder, unwind the cord, plug it in, and place as many beans as will fit into the small cup which contains the risk of overflow and the result of coarse ground coffee wasted on the cabinet. The challenge is to do it cleanly.

I light the candle and the wax warmer before I turn on the music.

Or not.

This morning it is only the hum of the refrigerator, the ticking of the clock, and the steady song of the crickets.


Today I am grateful for the quiet, his voice, his face, their talent, her kindness, a small but sweet, sweet party, and two cups a day.