Wednesday, September 26, 2012


When we looked up.

Due to the advances of we know who's calling he answers the phone with a Hey instead of a Hello. I don't know what miss mind your manners would say. It's been a while since she was talking. There have been a few advances in the field of how our voices travel and maybe some phone etiquette got lost in the ether.

Hey, Baby. I just like he answers the phone and love I am a Hey instead of a Hello. Slater Goff speaking. It feels like I'm a friend or at least a Mom. We already got past the formalities.

How are you?
Good. And you?
I'm good, baby. So school?
It's good. Just coming back from the store right now.

We talk about his roommate who I've never met but loved what he had done with the apartment. Also, he cooks. like a rockstar. So there's that.

And it's Slater's voice. It really is good. I can tell he's smiling and it's equivalent to he's breathing.
Which is important since I'm going to go for a little trip, a hop skip and jump, a turn up the music and roll down the windows, Perdido Key bound.

If you come here because you love and I love then you may notice I am gone.
If you notice I am gone then you'll see nothing is wrong or everything is but
I'll be taking pictures for you as I dance by the ocean.

Hey. you. how 'bout we meet back here next Monday or Tuesday?

Today I am grateful for friendship, for sitting on the balcony, for sand between the toes and for the smell of the wind on the ocean.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

where they sing

Her name is Kate. Yes, the works are for sale. No price tags because of the children. The education she offers them here is about expression. She has fifteen coming in tomorrow for an hour, a class provided freely to the community. Do you use music with the kids? I ask.

Right now the place is the quiet of walk softly and peek around corners. Yes, she nods.

San Miguel Lanterns in acrylic mixed media by Amanda Townsend  Opelika, AL

The artists in this show must be from either Mississippi or Alabama but they can now live anywhere in the world and many of them do.  Much of this work is done by educators from our universities. It is rare that an artist can survive on merely their art, but I do think they use it to survive.

Striped Sycamore. New Harmony, Indiana in digital photography by Don Norris  Hattiesburg, MS

Then they show us. Admission to the museum is free.

Going Home in silver print by Julia W. Gary  Huntsville, AL

Today I am grateful for a job, a paycheck which still allows me my passion.
What kind of crazy, great world is that?

Monday, September 24, 2012

the ever changing us

Meridian Museum of Art

It seems we were always running into the let go.

Today I am grateful for the air we breathe.



It's gonna be okay.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

wavering value of me

Mother Nature in ink by Mouise Richards
Meridian Museum of Art 39th Annual Bi-State Art Competition

I'd buy a yacht instead of help the world. Plus, I'm obviously for male prostitution. No, seriously. I wrote that two days ago. I said I would pimp a man out and buy a yacht. I excuse myself by saying well, it was funny.

Absurd? joke? Um. Yeah, but. It still came out of my mouth and into the world.

Sometimes it can be hard to look at ourselves because of how we see others. But then again, those two views are one and the same. it is a struggle.

Punishment. I grounded myself yesterday, sat in a time out. Closed my eyes and thought about it.

Today I am so very grateful for time in between.

Saturday, September 22, 2012


Grand Oaks Bluegrass Gospel Hall

They say. He says. She says. Somewhere I heard.
Just one hour a day, a month, a week, a year.
Choose your own dosage.
Though you can complain there is a catch.
All the other hours are spent loving yourself and someone else.

They say we change things when we observe them.
Sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.

She is on the porch. I back up and pull in. Dogs barking inside, outside, in a fence to the left. The little dachshund is chained to some steps. I remember as a kid we'd visit the shut ins, people we always assumed were lonely. I guess it could be an accident but when I say my name and go to shake her hand she doesn't let go. Instantly I feel connected.

No. She has no idea where that place may be but she has a story to tell me.

Today I am grateful for a change of plans when the lady from the porch held my hand.

Friday, September 21, 2012

the making of an article, Mathis Produce

Okay, ladies. Let's go ahead and get it out in the open. This guy is kinda hunky. I'm sorry. but he is.

Randy Mathis, part Terminator part pea sheller

If I had the know how to put audio on this baby I could charge for dates and buy me a yacht, but then I think that's illegal. All I'll say is he talks like one one hundredth of our men. I've done a study and one of a hundred southern men speak with a slow syrupy stand up bass in an early gospel song sweet loves his Mama type of calm that well. it's good we don't have audio.

Then there is his sister Lisa. I smile every time I think about a conversation we had.

Me: I have to get a picture of you and Randy together. Maybe in the strawberry patch. What do you think?

Lisa: Yeah. That'd be good.

Me: There's one thing I'm thinking though.

Lisa: What?

Me: You need to have dirt on your face.

Lisa: What? (a different what, more like are you crazy what)

Me: Lisa, you could roll out of bed and look beautiful, but there's so much physical beauty. It's on every corner. The first time I saw you you carried a pallet bigger than you across the floor. You gotta show people how you get dirty.

It only took a little more persuading and finally she agreed as long as I let her see the picture before we decided. We'll see, and I'm fine with that.

Yesterday morning this was all I got.

Siblings of the most get along kind.

Just for you in the development of a story stage I'll show some more shots.

He was shelling 'em for his Mama. I know. Stop it.

Baskets of everything everywhere

Mom says this batch is really good.

For all you Arkansas fans out there.

Billy Sue thought she found a cousin.

How Lisa sees it.

If you asked, Do they have everything?
I'd say, Pretty much.

It's a slush. Whoever even heard of such?

Don't you think places like this are our true gems of the world? At least one of them. Surely.

'Cause you were like, What about another photo of the pea shelling?
And I was all, Okay just one more.

In the ongoing am I an adult child or child adult that could happen if you return after twenty years to your hometown my Mom is thinking, I wish she could be professional, while my Dad has just grounded me from the computer.

Today I am grateful to have spent at least some of my morning seeing a small part of what Lisa and Randy do.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

meridian museum of art

The soundtrack is provided by Kelly Joe Phelps. His album Roll Away the Stone has become more of a chant which is nice since I've spent so much time looking for this place. I am at a building on a corner in a maze of one way streets.

Crossing the road with cars coming, I've been run over once. Going to a place outside your own can be scary but finally I'm in front of the building. I don't think to take a photo. Maybe it is one to take.

This is just what the doctor ordered. Put myself into outer space.

Sit Quietly by Pat L Brown in wax, graphite and letterpress on cotton

I am alone in the middle of a moving city. On these walls I am surrounded by the physical efforts of others as they express themselves. Not only talent but I see courage here and without courage I would say talent means little.

If there was a chance we all had a purpose could it be that some have one different from others?
possibly. likely. surely. of course.

Life by Teresa Rodriguez in collage with staples and found objects

Everything is Alright by Millie West in digital photograph

I enter the room to the right but can hear someone upstairs moving this way and that. The sound is busy but this room, this room is nice. If we can't still our mind then maybe in this place it whispers.

Bright Idea by Erin Hardin with oil on copper

What if we, deep down in the most center of us, knew we weren't bad humans?
Would that change us?

Today I am grateful for our museums, our artists. Sometimes it seems you can't walk down the street without bumping into one of these people.

Karen says there is a show this weekend in Como, and I wish I could see it. Photography, wildlife, a guy named Joe Mac makes it sound like my kind of place.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


To see where the people of Pinterest work click here.
Photos courtesy of the crazy talented Trey Ratcliff.

prickly pear patch

In the ongoing debate of does your mind ever stop Slater and Josh take the same side. Two against one does not scare me but I still wonder if it is true. Is there ever a time you stop thinking? Still the mind always sounded like a fallacy to me.

What are you doing, Aunt Shea?

I am watching the light, Jesse.

What's light?

I take the camera from my face to my chest, look at her, Jesse, what is light? Think about the question you just asked.

She makes a face of which I should take a photo. Instead I watch as she visibly ponders the question. Her eyes look to the sky, the skin around her nose wrinkles.

Then light. She figures it out on her own and a huge smile inches up her face.

So light shines here, I point at a flower. And it doesn't here, I point at the same flower, another petal. You see there is dark.

She is absorption squared to the point it is almost threatening, the mind of an eight year old.

Aunt Shea.

Yes, Jess.

Do you know what I want for my birthdayImeanChristmas?

What, baby?

A battery for my camera.

Sure thing, honey bun.

How cool would it be to feature pictures from her here on this site?
I think she would love it. We'll see.

Today I am grateful that my Dad took time to teach me.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

lack, the day after submission

More than decoration.

The day you gave your baby away you felt lonely.
All that work. well. you weren't so great.        were you?
I think they call it skate.

You could have studied harder, followed.
There will always be a prettier girl or a better word.
You witness fade and then pray you found something which doesn't.

This is only a day.
There is always tomorrow. or is there?
Do you ever rush to get it all done and forget what you were doing?

At my best I can talk myself better and get lost in conversation.

Today I am grateful for a rain though I wish it would have been harder.

Monday, September 17, 2012

every Thursday dinner or what if there is a future


Dear Thirty-Eighth Cousin Twice Removed,

If you are reading this it means you found the box. What were you doing digging so deep in the backyard? Don't answer that. Surely by now I don't care so much. We'll just say you were looking for answers to why your Aunt Sophie is nuts.  I can't do any of my hobby diagnosing from over here but I can tell you a little bit about who you came from and then Aunt Sophie may at least look honest.

1. If you're lucky you'll witness a laugh, one made by more than one woman in a circle. Hopefully it is sisters and they travel in pairs if widowed. This sound you hear, it is a trait given to them by the Slays and the Moores. It is a family favorite, music from the past and as a spokesperson I ask you to think of it as a gift, an inheritance. The family is glad you enjoy it.

2.  There is a slight, evolutionary glitch of neurotic. It could be that our particular striped brand of the species has lost some spots. If so, congratulations. If not, it's why you are who you are so enjoy it.

3. Up over the hill there was a pond, two barns. That horseshoe you found, it could belong to Rocking Chair or, if you're of the lucky sort, it could be Pancho Villa's, a treasured gift from the Fitzgeralds. There are so many animals to mention, a dog named Billy Sue and a cat named Silly. If you see a coyote chasing a deer don't even bother to holler.

4. You come from a knowledge and a respect for the land. I hope you still see it. Maybe an Uncle Jack from the line of my brother's son? I don't know but it's there, somewhere, surely around you right now someone from your family is working the earth. If it is with a vehemence consider it a survival trait passed down through Sybil's son.

5. The house behind you, there was a dining room. It's cool to think that maybe you have Thursday dinners or Tuesday lunches or Sunday breakfast or an hour any day of the week to sit and stare at each other. Please consider this dance, this ritual, this ceremony as a love note from a Mrs. Griffin. She was cool or rad or phat or awesome or groovy. does just saying good still work?

That's it. I could say more, but girl, life's too full of now to live in the past. Get going.

Your grateful distant cousin

Post Script. If you found this box while digging to build a mall, please put the letter back, place the box in the hole and drive till you receive signal. Once you're closer to town please call a member of the family who sold this land. Tell 'em they have to keep it.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

silly the ghost

Is this how it starts, Silly? Are you creating a woman with the fifty cats syndrome?

Today I hope for you a dog at your feet, a cat in your lap, two solid hours of whatever you never knew you needed, a swing on a porch, a breeze, your favorite music, a drive, two smiles and a wave, a hi. how are you?, a wink, a ribbing, big plans or medium sized ones, silence, the first time you watch what becomes one of your favorite movies, a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the back, someone to say you did good, a like, a game of golf, the first pages of a lovely book or a dirt road with a little gravel.

No matter really.
I just hope it's nice.

Today I am grateful even more than yesterday and if you'd asked me then I would have said, Impossible with an exclamation point.

I am grateful for you.

Have I told you thank you?    not nearly enough.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

his wife's daughter

Someone please pass the jug of insulin. I'm fixin' to have some of Mrs. Benita Shirley's Hershey Cake.

The waitress is from a state over and Daddy would use this to justify a fair tip if he was paying though I believe some people wouldn't leave her a cent. Tonight we're trading her some money for information. A few things happen before we get it.

First Daddy and I have a discussion on how sometimes when we find ourselves in a negative situation which follows another negative situation we may need to find the constant in the equation. Sometimes we can blame things on others but some times we may have to look within ourselves. The latter process being the most difficult and complicated of course. Some people may even need to write it.

Then he introduces me to the owner's uncle as his wife's daughter. And I even say to the whole table and half the restaurant, Did you hear that? He don't claim me. Then we all laugh and really, it is funny. Daddy is trying to start a fight and I'm just the girl for it. In a fight with Daddy where I am free to choose from the fight or flight responses I actually giggle when he beats his chest. That's awful, isn't it?

After dinner and some barbing our waitress walks up to the table, hands us the check and gives us the information in the form of a smile and a tilt of the head when she looks at me and asks, Is that your Dad?

No, shaking my head, I'm his wife's daughter. The table chuckles. Mom's eyes sparkle.

I continue, Forty-two years old and the man never adopted me. I'm going in for the punch in the most serious tone I have but looking down at the table 'cause I can't help but grin.

The waitress looks at Mom and asks, Do you have others? 

There's a third fighter, a roundhouse kick.

Mom nods, the win is coming.

Daddy and I look at each other and then at Mom. She's beaming and Wyatt smiles her way, I have two more.

They all act like him? The waitress points at Dad but maintains eye contact with Mom, Bless your heart.

I think Mom and I laughed till tears ran down our faces. Dad was trying to hold back, acting like he didn't know. It was blinding, the whole thing so I congratulated that lady by telling her she had just insulted two people at the very same time and that took some skill.

Last night's community homecoming game went to the waitress but Mom was the MVP.

Today I am so very grateful to be his wife's daughter (and his as well).

Friday, September 14, 2012

Mathis Produce, porch view

The brother and sister team who own Mathis Produce used to be teachers at a local school. He in biology, she history. They both quit their teaching jobs but neither stopped teaching. I don't think it would be a bad thing for the world to drop by.

When Slater calls I start thinking about science. I miss my late night physics class. Physics majors need not read another sentence further.  You people will be all, She's an idiot.

The rest of us, let's go there.
What is the case?

There is a finite supply of energy.
When one takes energy another loses it.
We should consider this when living in our world.

Is this right?

Or is there an infinite supply of energy because there is so much more than we have even yet to imagine? Measuring tapes not yet invented.

Everyday we think today I have it. I know everything.
this is what I'll say.
this is what I'll do.
Questioning our own reality would only get in the way.
Plus, that's for those physics students.
Has anyone seen any notes from those guys lately?
Has anyone heard from Slater?

and he's fine.

Today I am grateful for a phone call from my son.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

the call

He says relax and I tense up in a type of masochistic rebellion as if someone discovered common sense and it was the most intelligent you could do but I didn't test well.

Why do I do this?
He pauses like he tends to do. Some may say he's waiting for me to finish the sentence but it's much more fun to do it this way. The fact he is still around trying to complete sentences and sometimes failing miserably is kind of a nice thing to do. We are what I like to call pretty cool.

We are on a phone. It is the call. Sometimes late, sometimes early but always daily barring an emergency which means if he doesn't pick up the phone one day and still hasn't called me back by the next then I start freaking out. I turn on the sirens, the flashing lights, shine a bat in the sky because something is up. People who live alone do well to have a phone.

Break here to acknowledge my mother's request that she be my special call friend. I told her not to worry since we talk everyday anyway. Well I shouldn't have to find out you're dead from Rick. Then I tell her I figure Daddy will smell me from the road. Then we both replay the last couple of sentences in our heads and walk away awkwardly but I can't help but giggle since that's a funny thing to say to your Mom. Well, Mom probably doesn't think it's funny.

You can't get to a certain age and live alone and not go into one of those jobs where you need to see someone everyday and not have a call buddy. This person is very important in your life. They are a good friend. Some good friends have partners, roommates, kids, husbands, wives, a parent to be their call buddy. In order to obtain a call buddy not listed in the previous sentence you will need to walk by a park, join a game of touch football and then tackle a stranger. Not literally but that's at least metaphorically how I found mine.

Sometimes I wonder if he wonders what would have happened if he had decided not to go play touch football that day. Well of course he does. The fact he still answers the phone after thinking about it is one of those things that make us pretty cool.

Today I am grateful for my call buddy.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

when I grow up

When I grow up I want to be strong and smart and kind and charitable. Future me will be the physical nature of my current intent. I want to begin by taking care of myself, listening to others, finding people I can trust, understanding though as humans we are connected and belong to each other, we can have different intents.

I want to express myself but not so much others can't do the same.  When I smile others will notice the sincerity of it and when I laugh I will sometimes cry at the same time.

I want to do my part for my family, for my friends, for my home, for those I see in everyday life but I will know when things get to be too much. At that time I will rest in whatever bouts of sleep can restore me. I will eat food from the earth and learn to grow what can sustain me and others.

If ever it was necessary I would stand alone, this would not scare me but the knowledge of the possibility would keep me grateful for those around me.

Not that it was ever my intent to take but I will notice that the more I give the more I get back.
Today I understand my what I want makes me.
for this I am grateful.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

early human carvings

These were everywhere. Clarkco State Park, where people go to tell strangers they love each other.

If you find yourself alone, not Tom Hank's Castaway alone, more like you reach a certain age after finding you couldn't do the long term thing with another individual and the child you reared has gone off to college, you could notice a change in your speech pattern. Some may suggest early onset dementia but I think it's best if you term it the change.

Let's face it, you could spend a majority of your time talking to a dog, a cat and two horses. Not that anyone's complaining, mind you. They could keep a person busy, making sure everyone gets along, developing a feeding schedule, seeing if any of them need anything in particular and making sure they're still around.

I thought I had lost Silly.

I didn't.

She's back after twenty-four hours and even friendlier I think. Though it could be she lost some love for me when changed her over to real cat food after three days of Cafe de Sillie where she dined on specially cut for her fresh chicken with a little whole milk stirred in.  Seriously. She's now eating those dried little pellets of what's supposed to be good and she's saying thank you but only after a certain level of disappointment.

Anyway, reports from the life on this planet include a special malfunction after I saw a Mrs. Bea who is and always has been the town's speech therapist. We were in a meeting and I recognized her and when she spoke it sounded like a female voice in a French song and diction and rhythm and confidence and this is how it is done. I stuttered in intimidation and overcompensated with volume but I did attempt to cut back on quantity (you would have hoped since it was my first meeting and I hadn't seen most of these people in twenty years). Some could ask why I didn't just shut up and listen.

We'll call it the change.
It could be that being an adult in a place where you were always a child is weird, like how we can be the most wretched of people in how we dress and how we speak and still, we can be loved. 

Today I am so very grateful for life in this house, in this neck of the woods, outside of that town and it's people.

Monday, September 10, 2012

what's hot, what's now, what are you reading, Madalyn?

Madalyn said, The creek royalty blog of course. It is awesome!

Nobody asked me if I wanted popcorn.

I know what happened. The husband and wife team who were turning their homegrown corn into white fluffy kernels of oh there's some sweet, oh wait is that salt perfect combination of both (that's what Madalyn said), they saw me, turned to wink at each other in a there's our perfect model nod and then turned back around to ask me if I wanted a bag of free popcorn. When they did it was Madalyn, who was right behind me and standing directly in front of their booth. It was awkward, that moment when I felt like they wanted to say something to me but Madalyn was right there and they didn't want to hurt her feelings. Such nice people and I understand. Though I don't think those people should feel responsible for Madalyn's self esteem. Her worth should come from within, but I'm glad they were concerned enough to give her, ya' know, a little boost. They probably figured I'd eat some of her popcorn anyway. Then people would see me eating the popcorn at the farmer's market and be all, look at that woman eating that popcorn, I want to be just like her, where can we get some of that popcorn so we can be her? I'd say, I got it from over there. Then I'd point at the couple at the booth as they were standing there waving and smiling and transaction complete.

Actually I thought they were just giving Madalyn a bag of free popcorn to taste and she was supposed to give it back.  The whole scene looked ambiguous. Madalyn even asked, Is it free? Their response was a nod, shrug, look away then at each other, weird. I guess it was a yes 'cause when Madalyn walked away with the bag of popcorn they were just smiling at her. I looked at the pricing board and then asked them what size Madalyn had just bought with her braided hair to the side, tank top, cute little bag, great smile. Small, they said.

Madalyn got my free popcorn and they got a homegrown model for two dollars.
In the end everything worked out as it should 'cause I wouldn't have done the job for less than $3, the price of the medium.

Today I am grateful that Madalyn reads my blog, or at least pretends to while I take her picture.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

great dane

Mustang Sally likes to nuzzle at the Causeyville General Store

There is a dirt road up some and to the right, a church on a hill to the left. You see those trees over there, they now cover what was my playground. That road leads to a burial site, one as a child I considered holy. I fantasized Native Americans had been buried there and in some type of ceremony had blessed the ground. A perfect circle in the middle of a field, another one in the trees to the north past the fence. In those places I was alone but never felt that way. Adult me could call child me silly but I love her for her faith.

Today I am so very grateful to find things about myself I love. sometimes that can be harder than we ever thought. still it can be done.

In the what's next section of why not? let's just do it there are some special events to report.

Today's lunch is a crock pot chicken spaghetti, recipe via Kim. Cole slaw and green beans on the side. The bread has to be fried since I don't think I have an oven (here's where Dad asks, Have you even checked to see if the pilot light is still lit? And I respond, I like to live in denial of gas being ignited by fire). The special unexpected don't eat too much 'cause she didn't make dessert is a cake prepared by someone who could turn a nonbeliever into a believing one, when the taste of a cake silences the dining room table and becomes more of a spiritual experience than an eating one.

September 28th & 29th is the Clarke County Wildlife Festival where good friendly people will come together in celebration of all that is wild in this neck of the woods. If you come don't drive too fast, a whitetail deer is likely to be using that same road.  The squirrels throw pecans, hogs should be feared, dove are especially beautiful when wrapped in bacon and possums, most of us don't cook those.

In October there'll be a private affair. You gotta know someone in the know to get in on this one. A first annual sibling v sibling gumbo cook off.  There will be more to report. Right now we're looking for judges.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

why so serious, Mr. Bishop?

Two meetings with two others and two more miles before I walked into the place. 
This could be how we met.
You were suspicious, something I didn't expect.
I got a ham and cheese omelet.
You got a serious look on your face.
Dirtied black and white tile, James Dean on the wall.
Faux chrome, a love nuanced.
You're the type of person to get under another's skin.
When the personality is so big there is no need for diamonds.
Somebody once told you you were not enough.
It seems you're set to prove it.
From what I can tell it is why I came but maybe not. We'll see.
It's only our first meeting.

Today I am grateful for a steady flow of work, an everything we need is out there.

Friday, September 7, 2012

pet service announcement

If there is no scarcity of love, if it is abundant is that why it can seem so cheap?

Silly was born from a shed. What could have been considered a cry for help was more likely is anyone out there. Though shy and mistaken for a kitten she was soon found to be all growed up. The tail and the ears is what gave her age away. If it wasn't for those parts you'd be fooled 'cause her body is stunted.

Hours after our introductions she jumped in my lap. 

I know what you're thinking. 
Yes, I fed her.
She was hungry.

Kim would say this is the danger of the country, all the animals who need you. She once saved a raccoon from a dumpster by giving him a ladder to climb. The last animal who walked up found herself in doggie daycare the next week. Kim couldn't just go to work and leave the dog there. The dog needed to learn to socialize with other animals.  Mark agreed. They already had three or four cats, a raccoon and a bird who lived with grandma.

Dude. The country people can't feed all the animals, ya' know the ones you don't want. Please. If you know someone who would possibly take a dog or a cat or a monkey or a chicken or any animal or their child or parent (let's just go ahead and cover the whole gambit) to the country and just drop them off then maybe suggest to them to not take on the responsibility of these living creatures. 

Bossy me is sending a memo to the world.

Date: Today
To: The World
From: Me

Do not abandon your animals in the country.

cc: Any other planets too.

A friend once told me he had all he could take care of right here and then dramatically waved his hand over his head. To that I nodded. It made me smile. Then I laughed, and I think thats why I liked him. I think it is nice to find who we are in this world though the process of becoming can be difficult.

Today I am very grateful for Silly the Purr-baby (her registered name but you can call her Silly).
Billy Sue, on the other hand, well, she's not used to sharing love. It may take her a moment.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

the list

Clarkco State Park

Daddy is on the prayer list. When I first saw his name among the fifty others it concerned me. I had just seen him that day and he looked fine working on Mom's stained glass window. Then I realized it. The whole Church is praying for Daddy's soul, praying that he'll come to Church.

Now you and I both know I just couldn't get up in the middle of service to run home and tell Daddy what was going on, though it was tempting so I started imagining ways to let him know. You know what a smirk feels like? I was feeling all smirky.

There are at least two ways to look at this. One being when you need it there is no better place to find yourself than on a Church's prayer list. Those people have tapped into a pipe which leads to a particular pool of hope, conjoined wishes, a shared meditation of we really want this. I have two cousins who are on that list for some serious physical ailments, some bad things happen to good people type of stuff. There is a low hum chant within me continuously wanting some healing for them. Going to Church on a Wednesday night and seeing that at least the seven other people there are doing the same thing was comforting. Surely together our wants carry more weight.

Another way to look at this is if you're not physically ill and well the only thing that could threaten Daddy's health is some doctor giving him a prescription is that people praying for you to come to the same building they do in order to have a good, working relationship with who they've named God is like asking Dear God, please let everyone be like me. As far as I can tell God was never in the business of building robots. I always thought God and Daddy were doing their thing.

I went to Church on a Wednesday night to see if that building still contained what I remembered as a child. Brother Henry has since died. Brother Leland retired. Still you can find some good loving people in that place. When they asked me if they would see me on Sunday I just laughed and said, Well I know if I don't come y'all gonna put me on that prayer list with Daddy. 

One thing I remember Brother Leland used to say is that there was a particular way to pray and after the appropriate salutations you should begin giving your thanks. Only after that should you consider asking for anything. If you, my reader, make it past all the gratitude then I'm pretty sure my cousins wouldn't mind a mention. You need not worry about Daddy or me.

Today I am grateful to have found it is fine to be who we are, whoever we think that is.

Oh yeah, when I went to Mom and Dad's house after Church Daddy met me at the door telling me I had driven too fast up the driveway and that's when I told him that he needed to be more worried about himself since I just found out he was on the Church prayer list.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012


Today I am grateful for time to notice.