Today I am grateful for where and how I can live. I am grateful for those who gave their lives for this. This day doesn't make me feel happy. It makes me feel like I should be more responsible and live with greater intention.
It's emotion, all the right and wrong we think we know, the shoulds we place on others. It's looking at yourself at the end of the day and thinking that's not what I wanted. Then it's the understanding that any of it was about you is a big part of the problem. You were supposed to keep your mouth shut, act like it was all normal. In the end the person you hurt was the person you were trying to help so you could somehow feel good about yourself.
(what was it about pride that screwtape wrote to wormwood?)
Today I am grateful for a series of lessons, though I really do wish I had been smarter on this one.