Thursday, February 18, 2016

greeting card rejections

Dear Greeting Card Company,

I need one card for two people. They both have the same birthday. Nothing seems to fit.

What do you think about this?


Sometimes I like to pretend that the internet is all one person. 
And that person writes everything and wrote a thousand fragments number fifty-two.
And that person writes a late, late talk show.
And that person invented a game.
And that person writes anonymous comments.
And that person teaches and mothers and loves and shares a birthday with that person.
Today I am grateful for that one person and now two on this certain day every year.



or



I love that we can celebrate both of you today. This is a party weekend.



or



It's unfair. How in the world we will ever show you all the gratitude and love we feel for you in just seventy-two hours? We'll need some naps.

Happy Birthday, you two.
Now let's get to this.


You can have these for free. Thank you for all the great greeting cards through the years.

Love,
Shea Goff







Dear Shea Goff,

Stop writing us. Go away.

The Greeting Card Company


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