Thursday, January 28, 2016
oh the drama of it all
Everything feels important. Drastically, vitally, critically, incredibly, all the el whys. I walk around assuming that we're all feeling this way.
And I had this schedule in my head and it was beautiful if I could pull it off and sometimes maybe I can't pull it off and that's okay because it was a schedule I put in my head and nobody around me is pushing me any harder than I am.
Though there is this weird ringing that goes off in my head. Some bell I pull to say you're off schedule and yes, it does kinda weirdly feel like panic.
He says, "I'm listening to this doctor talk about the Paleo diet."
"Yeah. I don't even think I can talk about that."
"What do you know about the Paleo diet?"
"I know that I found something that worked for me last year and it's simple and I just choose not to do it because I have this diet self sabotage thing going on. There really is no excuse. Diet has become a bad choice I make every day."
"Why is that?"
"It's like a bucket of priorities I just throw into the air and I search for the writing and I go for it above anything else. I am not only a slow learner and require as simple as it gets, but I also ignore that one does not have to negate the other and stupid balance."
"You sound stressed."
"I need to write. I'm behind."
Today I am grateful for a chance to sit in on a meeting, to consider words like vision and goals and beliefs and listen to what others are saying. Sometimes the hardest thing for me is to shut up and listen.
(imagine that but still understand I'm not going on the Paleo diet)