Wednesday, December 23, 2015

we began to doubt ourselves

it has to do with an oil thermometer. the kind you stick on the side of a pot. the oil needs to be 350 degrees and stay there for the chicken to be just right, and the chicken needs to be just right because you just spent the last twenty-four hours possibly ruining it with pickle juice and buttermilk and ranch seasoning and sugar where's the honey butter, ohmygosh where is it? did it drop out of the bag?


no. wait.


wait.
you forgot the water.



there's the butter. i remember doing that. slice the rolls in half. Kevin Gillespie makes this look easy. he's a liar but I'll eat his sandwich.


if you don't have an oil thermometer and you've already spent too much money on the sandwich as one is likely to do, then stick a wooden spoon down into the middle of that pot. when the edge of that spoon which first meets that oil begins to sizzle then you can throw that first piece of chicken in and it will work. nobody will get salmonella. everyone will survive and your brother the chef will give it his approval.


nutritional information: you'll die sooner because of this but those five minutes are less valuable then the taste of this sandwich.

No comments: