Saturday, December 19, 2015

day one of sixteen

is a result of food terrorism but worse. I've been pounding massive amounts of food into my body for two weeks.

At the same time I have been attempting to dehydrate myself.

One part of me is trying to kill me and doing a damn good job. The other writes to fight herself in the most boring, ridiculous, be smarter, stop it, chic; either you're smart enough to kill yourself or you're smart enough to live. Stop playing like this with your life.

Anger. I'm mad at myself for consistently promising myself tomorrow, for being a shitty example to kids, for spending massive amounts of money on things not good for me (this heading of my fictional budget is bold and all caps and how could I help anyone else if I can't help myself)

You're going to do better tomorrow. You are going to exercise and drink water and make decent food decisions because on day two of sixteen is the first day you are going to hold yourself accountable.

In fact.
Not tomorrow.

Get in there.
Make yourself a huge glass of drinking water and consider how fortunate you are to have access to that in this world. Don't take for granted those things offered to you so you can live. Why would you deny such privilege? Plus, if you only drink that then you can give all that money you save to make sure someone else has clean water to drink. Be like this guy.

Or just be better, chic.

Today I am grateful for sixteen days.

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