How do you say this? What is the one word to describe what the following is?
This is the second hallucination, weird thought I saw you there moment, when I thought I saw him there. You know. Similar. A is that him moment. Familiar.
This time he seemed kinder. Last time angry.
And if we're going with the former or the latter I would say that this guy could teach me a thing or two. And what does it matter if he's real or I'm just crazy to see a man I think I love two aisles over in a parking lot.
I think we'll call this that one thing you were unwilling to say out loud to her on the phone but willing to put on a blog. That at some point I became private with a world rather than private with a friend. And it's confusing.
Anyway, I thought I saw him again today. And yes, I could have waved. And he could have waved back because his Mama taught him right. And I could have mimed the question, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
And that would have been a cool dance before he didn't
(a) jump in his car and speed away
(b) humor the elderly
If he humored the elderly (which hey, don't knock it till you try it).
If he humored me he would nod and I would do the most spastic walk two aisles over and then try to explain to him or ask him questions or I don't even know so I did what any person who does not need to be placed in a padded room would,
I stopped. I think our eyes met and then I quickly turned away, closed my door and almost skipped into the store. Because if I'm crazy I'm going with it and all of a sudden I felt like I needed to pay back the world.
Today I am grateful for a haircut and groceries, for a guy who made me actually even consider acting like such a fool and then my need to smile at everyone in the store, hold doors open, buy things that are good for me. Sometimes I don't know what to call myself so I just call myself lucky.
(because yeah, that's a good story)