It's Nan who said I want your Mom to send me a photo.
It's me who wonders if I never get the perfect photo so he'll keep coming back.
For me all the best shots are before the best shots. The ones when I'm telling him, "Just do whatever. I've got to adjust for light."
"Have you ever considered a light meter?"
"Yes, but I don't want one."
"I know it's silly but finding the right amount of light is part of what I'm doing here."
This is his "I'm trying to understand" look.
And I don't know, but I do know that picking up the camera meant he was getting ready to leave and I treat it like it's stripping off a band aid. Let's do this quick without thinking.
Well. Maybe I don't ever get the best shot but trying to get the best shot is photography. Right? I want to relax in it and enjoy it and be tormented by it. I want to look at the photos over and over again and curse myself and crop and adjust and take away and share and be scared to share and tell myself, "It's okay. You'll always have another day."
Now the commission has a name. Photography is hope.
Today I am grateful for Nan's request and Sowashee's suggestion and how the two fell together in time and place. I am grateful that he wanted to come to a show. I am grateful to be able to watch as she runs to him on the front porch, and yes, I am so grateful for the girl to whom he returns. I am grateful to realize that this was another day.