Saturday, September 26, 2015

the end, the beginning

"Yes," he says.

And I explain that this is not the easiest thing.

"Yes," he says.

When you love someone you are supposed to do that forever. Like, you know, ten years should be a hundred,

but what if love meant you let them go without ever stopping loving.

And what if the last ten years has produced one of the healthiest loves I've ever had.

Why wouldn't I fight for it?

(because you just thought being there was important. and fight for love? I don't want to believe that love is struggle.)

((this is him telling me I haven't learned a thing.))

And being there meant listening to all his hopes and his dreams without being a part of them. It sounds like heartbreak but it's not. It would be selfish and impossible to change how he sees so what I hope is that it is everything he believes he needs.

Nobody did anybody wrong. It was the greatest rebound relationship in history (mine anyway).

"If I call you two years from now and you pick up the phone we would begin like we never left off."

"Yes," I say.

Today I am grateful to let go of worry, worry that I'll somehow lose something because he's right. You can't lose something that's in your heart and mind. I am grateful for rest and fish filets and the suggestion I go visit her tomorrow.

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