Friday, August 7, 2015

no free lunches

She cries into exhaustion and the only relief comes when she sleeps.
Then she wakes and realizes he's gone and she's still here and it's the sinking feeling of living in a nightmare she could never dream.

Last night I wondered if he knew the end. If all those years ago he got a glimpse of her pain would he have even looked her way, and I thought, "No. He would never want her to suffer this way."

This morning it occurred to me that a love like that could never be free and both of them would surely do it all over again if given the chance.

Today I am grateful she has her mother and her friends and time and his stories and their bed and his pillow and the mercy of at least some sleep.


Anonymous said...

I often think of why such bad things happen to such good people. I guess that's why I'm still here, not good enough, yet.

Shea Goff said...

From what I've seen the bad is not the death. It's the living with it. But then that storm came. And you're right.

But then I've seen bad people die too. A man who made a woman walk ten steps behind her. If she got too close he would beat her, and I really did think he deserved his death. I mean, I think she was better off for it.

So it can't be. It just can't that only the good die young because the bad do too.

I get mad when I think about it because sometimes I just want the bad to stop. Then I have a friend who tells me, What you resists persists because that's a famous quote I guess.

And I tell myself that most of the time I don't even know what I'm talking about so on the list for tomorrow: