There will always be this great photograph you missed because you were not ready. It's the one photograph explaining you met some really cool people last night. There was, of course, a list of fears following a lovely invitation.
1. You're meeting them at a bar.
Fear: You suck at drinking and you suck at social situations. You're too loud and obnoxious and why are you such a freak?
Reality: The Brickhaus has ice water with lemon and a patty melt which reminds you of the Delta, but where oh where did they find those potatoes? The people at this table are kind and funny and love light and photos and are as self critical and personally invested in capturing some piece of something from this meeting.
A remember when we went into that building in downtown Meridian. It was beautiful. The only thing missing was your most recent obsession.
2. You will abandon routine of time and place and Friday evening is go home and sleep.
Fear: You will be exhausted and ill and he even said, "I feel sorry for them."
Reality: Though you started your day at 2am you caught a power nap and refused to care about the toothpaste on your t-shirt. Nobody cared.
3. Group photography.
Fear: Photography is personal and intimate and you have a proven track record of being no good at meetings.
Reality: These people are good with you going anywhere you want to. They understand the need to explore and find and come in contact with some little secret.
4. What about all those other things you need to be doing? Do you really have time for fun? No. Get to work.
Fear: If you let go and get out there and enjoy yourself the world as you know it will fall completely apart. Without your worry how will anything ever make it?
Reality: Everyone lived. You are not near as crucial to the survival of the species as you pretend to be. What a relief.
Today I am grateful for a group of people, for a meeting around a table. For an abandoned building and a garden park in the middle of a city. For how the allure of the perfect photo is a never-ending journey.