Friday, June 5, 2015

silly, wish I was more

Today I called my old boss who is still my boss, and I realized, This is the first time I've done that. In almost two years I never called her on her cell phone. This is a first.

Then I blew up some balloons and threw confetti around the room.

"Hello," she answered.

"Hello, this is," I proceeded with as much title and job description and where and what and who I think I am.

She laughed.

And I realized how much I love it when she laughs.

This has to be at least one of the things that you know you'll miss about a person. I wonder if she'll call every now and again and laugh for me. Is that too much to ask?

Today I am grateful for what sincere laughter feels like though what you find funny may be different from me. I'm okay with that because sometimes I think the best laughing comes when we are laughing at ourselves.

How silly we are. How serious. How we can preach love and feel not love. And I think of the Tower of Babel and what it says. We're doomed. We'll never all speak the same language. We have to be divided.

So I think I gave up trying to be any different from you though I know there are differences in everyone. I found when I became different and accepted it I could better see our similarities.

Social anxiety disorder? Sure. Lots of people make me nervous and I become a woodpecker in warp speed. Life gets fast. Light streams through windows on full blast. People are everywhere but not strangers. People I love are on the phone, wearing their jeans, talking about the weekend, and life is one huge loudspeaker of we are as much love as we thought we could be but then another day happened.

and we became more. whatever that means. (it means I am grateful for our time together)

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