Wednesday, May 13, 2015

when I try to see what you see, note to self

My vision gets blurred and I lack confidence as if I have already failed. I freak out a little bit if you commission work and work is life and you can't put a price which means tell me what to do.

But yes, you can.

"I'm thinking (insert what you're thinking and I need to take it on with some kind of weird go huge or go home mentality. I need to see what you see, and I am so scared I won't see it.)

But the biggest fear is that I may fail you. (I've totally done that before)

So then.

I either go huge or go home. It's that middle ground balance that Mama has always been reminding me of. "Balanceschmalance," I would say then ask, "How do you do that?)

"Write a list," she still says today, and you've already read how grateful I am for that.

So here's the deal.

1. Stick with what you are doing. Stop trying to turn it off. That's a struggle.
2. Do what you do.
3. Listen. You will be led to the next project.
4. Follow the lead.
5. Don't forget the other projects.


1. You have two focus articles a week.
2. One monthly focus.
3. A newsletter or publication.
4. Reading is Peachy.
5. A booth.
6. A personal photo shoot.
7. A family reunion.
8. Two hours of daily hike.
9. Swim two days.
10. Write, write, write. Take photographs, edit video, update, update, update, sleep.

Life is full. How could anyone or anything else fit?

Someone once asked, "Do you think you are any different now than you were back then?"

"No. I've always been this way. We're all surviving or not and it's so much that I can't imagine the whole of it so I have to take it in numbers, but hey, we're fed and that's nice. I have clean drinking water and electricity. I live in a place of birds singing."

Then she nodded.

Today I am grateful for a visit to my local library, for some more time with Jessie from the book.
I am grateful for people who inspire me and motivate me to make lists of life.

Sound men and women.

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