Sunday, March 29, 2015

the case for the more and never talk politics on TV. soon your brain turns to mush

In the case of kids helping kids I think you have to say, Yes.
In the case of kids understanding how to love I think we have to teach them to love.

So our gifts should be about giving, I think.

Anyway, the photo.

It is of Jess on her birthday and it is a gift to my Mom & Dad, my brother & sister-in-law, my ex sister-in-law & her stepfather because I need to do more personal photos as gifts to the ones I love. Part of giving to Jess means I give to the ones who love her.

I think I was always scared to give because I would soon not have enough for us to eat.
I made many, many bad choices in regards to money.

Cigarettes. How could I dare smoke?
I have thought a lot about that today.

And this is what I think.
I think.

If we give gifts to the ones we love it has to be that we kind of live for them which is weird because they have lives of their own. It's crazy. Really.

Today I am grateful for a walk with a kid then a talk with her brother, a kinda one sided chat with two babies, the use of my parents' internet, a lovely talk with my Mom, and a funny conversation with my son. If we're really passing it on is there only so much love you can give? But I guess that is kinda the point.

We're supposed to give love and let love shine out.

I know, I know there is so much need you even feel it in your home and your heart and I want to give you everything but I can't so I want to reserve this piece.

because I get love and money confused.
I don't think I need a pair of sunglasses or a wide brimmed hat for the beach.
It's just too much money when I could buy this.

but then what about the community center?

People call me a Democrat, but I don't agree with them.
Republican, not so much either.
What if we make money to give and we give that money where we are led?
Do we fear that our money will run out?
Maybe it has. I understand that.
I have definitely run out of money before.

How do we stretch it? By goals, I think.

Dear Good Shoe Manufacturers of the World,

I will soon purchase myself a good walking shoe for at least four terrains. Maybe. If I have enough money to live with another month of payroll as my savings. My first little piggy bank.
I don't want a referral to a website. I already have my sites and sometimes I share them here because they are amazing but I can't afford everybody and everything and

do you ever feel guilty that you don't give enough?

Though someone once told me that you should never live that way. Live as if you know enough will always be there. (heck. we've made it this far.)

I mean. (did you think?)

You should have.
I should have too.
I should have been a better person.
Now it is what I must do.

I am going to have to give up zumba so I can use thirty dollars a month to give to charity and goodgoshamighty there are some beautiful ones. There are people within my own county who could use thirty dollars of groceries per month. Plus, I walk/hike/enjoy the outdoors/27 miles last week is a luxury, I know and I love it like it is diamonds.

So this week I'll

  1. Go shopping with Aunt Dottie and we'll buy $30 of something she can eat. Seriously. Someone tell her I'm coming. Or wait. Why don't I call her?
  2. Pay $50 to a friend who did a couple of things for me last week.
  3. Take a friend to lunch.
  4. $25 to Relay for Life and 25 photos I have to take.
  5. Next is Chantel and a painting which is not only exquisite but it's that lady's family. And well, Chantel is a good friend of mine and a wife and a mother and I told her I'd send some love. Love and money, people. Love and money. It's all I know to do.
  6. Take a photo for Pam's Mom.
  7. Take time to teach a kid about photography.
  8. Get with Tina. Write an article on Relay.
  9. Link it.
  10. Publish article.
  11. Write and publish article on teacher with book.
  12. Write and publish article on teacher with 21st Century.
  13. Write and publish article on two students. (ohgoodgosh. seriously. my life should be themed kids these days)
  14. Go to the beach with my kid.

But right now I need to finish editing and adding art for nobody particular. Because.
Life is good, and I will one day prove it to all the people I love.
Or no I won't, but that's no reason to stop trying.

Put clothes in dryer.
Wash dishes.

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