Saturday, January 3, 2015

day 5 and patient continues to require restraints

Billy Sue to my right

I think he has become no other than a partner would.
Like things have to sneak up on me in order to work.

We have fruit for the juicer and a cleanser to get the remaining cigarette shit out of my blood, but my head. I don’t know what’s going to take care of that.
This has not been easy,

though I dare complain that I have the opportunity to stop smoking and possibly live after that. 


I have experienced a couple of meltdowns.
Like Dug and Mr. Fox in a church parking lot.
I don’t think any of us will ever look at each other the same after that.

There was that one night at eleven when my skin felt like it was crawling and I wanted to scream and as a result truly appreciated watching Little Bird throw a fit the next day. Later I told Mom how I wanted to cheer, “You go, girl. Don’t hold onto that.”

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to choose to not be a smoker (just typing that … expletive. expletive. expletive.)

Call of the day comes from caller number one.

I’m proud of you.

I’m not comfortable with that.

Then I’m not or I am and I just won’t tell you about it.

You’ve already ruined it. Someone hand me a cigarette.




Thank you. I’m just not being the nicest someone around in case you haven’t noticed.

But yeah. better. I guess.

Special shout out thank you goes to my Mom of the juicer and fruit and a pack of bendy straws.
And yet another one to Netflix for the series Maron. It could be the perfect show for kicking a habit. I feel like Marc gets it to the point I think "Holy shit. This is going to be me for the rest of my life."


Anonymous said...

Hang in there, you can do it.

Shea Goff said...

I'm going to take that as you're not picking a fight. And then thank you for believing that.