Wednesday, December 24, 2014

legacy (in all seriousness)

…had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap...
Clement Clarke Moore, A Visit from St. Nicholas

Dear Santa,

Thank you.

The peanut butter Oreo proved victorious.

Subject Two.
Could maybe buy a bag of Oreos if she really wanted them, but more likely than not she would just get an adult to buy them for her. Who could blame her? It's awesome being a kid and she rocks.

The milk (2%, that matters for this experiment) is in a glass. She is unsure of what is happening but had nodded tentatively and at the same time wild eyed while kind of whispering, Uh huh. I'll do your experiment, while we were cleaning up limbs. 

When we went in to take a break she had already had lunch and a whole you know that cup she uses with the straw in it. She drank that whole thing. Do you know which one I'm talking about, Aunt Shea? 


Then I say, Alright. You have to sit in the chair at the table, and you'll be given one Oreo.

She sits but seems nervous since this is looking serious. Her Grammie sits to her right and her Dad to her left. I pull up a chair between she and her Dad. She faces us. She holds the Oreo in her left hand, in front of my face and looks at me even more wide eyed than she was before as she nods her head and shrugs her shoulders.

Go. Do it.

She starts to dunk the cookie.

You don't have to do that. (It's the one part of the experiment I regret)

Because that's when she slowly, one third watching me one third watching her Dad and one third watching Grammie, brings the cookie to her teeth. And crunches from outside to center and the nodding begins. Then a quick look at each of us when I ask, So. What do you think?

It's good. More nodding. Not too much smiling. She's taking this seriously. I think yes.

ohmygosh. Yes. Yes what? The other Oreo with the white center or this one with peanut butter.

This one. She is sure of herself and that cookie.

Test Result: Peanut butter Oreo rocks.

Her Dad took his with sweet tea and was serious, but sweet tea please. He liked the original better. Something about the chocolate (the best chocolate in the world) required the compliment of the sweet white you know what we're talking about.

Subject Three Test Result: He's going with the original. Even after I tried to convince him that no, he was wrong. Hence, solid result.

Which leads us to Subject Four.

Grammie. (Worth ten votes because let's get serious here. It's Grammie. What she says goes.)

She took no drink with her cookie. Did not, as with all previous subjects, take the cookie apart. Rather she took one solid crunch of, about one eighth of, the cookie and nodded.

Yeah. I like this one better, she said.

Subject Four Test Result: Ten votes in favor of peanut butter Oreo.

Subject five refused to participate, because there was that year he got on the double stuff and gained ten pounds. That's okay. Testing is not mandatory.

Today I am grateful for our Christmas miracle.

How when a swirling wind uprooted two, you gonna have to use a wood splitter, trees

my brother knew how to use a chainsaw,

and Subject number one sings when she picks up sticks,

and Jess, what we have here is a Christmas miracle.

Why do you say that, Aunt Shea?

Because, baby, if it hadn't been for this we couldn't have helped Grammie. She's always busy helping everybody else. You know how she is.

She nods.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Clement Clarke Moore (over 150 years ago)

The echo of those same words is here today.

What does up mean?


Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Shea.

Shea Goff said...

Merry Christmas, Anonymous.