1. Saying people's names for the first time will grant you pretty much anything you desire.
2. Fashioning a weapon and hunting down the family pet lets us know you're not someone on whom we should turn our back.
3. Naps are for the weak. You're better than that.
4. Make the sitter earn it. Don't just laugh and smile at everything. Be selective with your praise.
5. Pissed at them? Want to take revenge? Just make them play one of two videos for the we lost count because we can only count to three but it's much more than three time. (Looking for the other video? I asked the internet to take it down.)
6. Wearing a shirt which reads, "I need some Grandma time," is a tad bit overzealous and seriously rude to other parties.
Today I am grateful to be christened Ann Shea.