he doesn't call because he can't. and that makes sense. because everything before now did as well. until now when he can't call. because in a way that doesn't make sense.
decision making led him to a point where he is but he never would have made the direct decision to be there.
he was a man of a certain amount of faith.
does that make sense?
I had a dream the other night, morning to be exact. Morning dreaming is one of those things I would use to refute the whoever how long it takes for you to get to REM (not the band). Of course, I don't know because I'm no expert on any sleep but the kind I get from let's say 5am till 7am.
deep in the pull of gravity on your head into the pillow. deep in the way the drool drips off your chin. from having a body to not having a body to having a body and that body feeling weird deep.
but surface too because you're aware of where you are and who.
I was in a bar in a mall in Washington DC and he was there, the he in the particular particle "the" he in "the" one. One more time my Mom gets to roll her eyes, and one more time I say, It's ridiculous. the dream. It's ridiculous how it felt.
I'll take it. that. just that dream. because that dream felt good. there was no need.
Music from Josh.
Art from Dooce.
Today I am grateful for this opportunity to sound so ridiculous.