There's a bright spot. You have put letters together to form words in a language which I understand. Those words formed sentences with the appropriate grammatical structure to convey your thoughts/feelings/complete self torture.
You are a writer.
Another bright spot. I've seen your work. You are not only a writer. You are a gifted one.
I could send you some links to videos or articles which could/may inspire you. I could tell you that it's all going to be okay and ebb and flow and be like water and just show up or everyone else seems to know what to do, but this is where all that free will comes in and you are on your own journey with your eyes and your brain and your choice and it's okay to get depressed because everyone else does as well. And everyone thinks their own work is not good enough at one time or another so as gifted and wonderful and fantastic as you are, you are just as human as the rest of us.
Today I am grateful for questions which look like suggestions from people I love and respect.
Thank you, my friend.