Friday, October 26, 2012

week in word


Him: Now you're just making excuses.
Me: But I' 
Him: It's what you're doing.
Me: But listen I know what you're saying. I have a defense.
Him: Excuse.

Space filled with low growl.

Private Caller: Hello. Is Lisa there?

Me: No. Lisa doesn't live here.

Private Caller: I have to talk to her about her medication.

Me: Well. I.   I hope she gets it.   but I'm the only one who lives here.

Private Caller: Lisa doesn't?

Me: No.

Private Caller: What about your medication?

Me: I don't take medicine.

Private Caller: No?

Me: No.Wait.      Can you get me medication?

Private Caller: Yes.

Me: Really?

Private Caller: Yes. 

Me: Huh. What about ______? (popular pain medication I know because Slater wants to be a pharmacist)

Private Caller: Yes.

Me: Wait. You can get me _______? (we'll call it Illegal)

Private Caller: With a discount.

Me: With a discount?

Private Caller: Yes.

Me: Do I need a prescription?

Private Caller: No.

Me: I don't need a prescription?

Private Caller: No. I can do that.

Me: There's no way.

Private Caller: I can deliver them to your door.

Me: Deliver them to my door?

Private Caller: Yes.

Me: Okay. Let's get this straight. Here on my home phone I can order Illegal from you. You will take care of the prescription and the delivery and give me a discount as well. Is that what you're saying?

Private Caller: What milligram do you need?

Me: Wait. I need to be honest with you. I mean. I'm sorry. I was sorta messing with you. I don't take Illegal. I may take an ibuprofen once a month, ya' know menstrual cramps and my brother. My brother is a pain but I don't take Illegal. (the brother thing added since Josh is listening to the conversation)

Private Caller: Let's just price it. What milligrams do you need?

Me: I don't know. I don't even know what milligrams it comes in. Look. You need to find Lisa. You got the wrong girl.

Private Caller: I can get you medication.

Me: I'm good with buying my ibuprofen from the store.

Private Caller: No?

Me: Listen. I hope you have a nice life and I wish ya' all the luck in the world but take me off the list.

Private Caller: But I'

Me: Goooodbyyyye (said as if falling down a hole)

Private Caller: Bye.

Jesse doesn't believe I want to get a dance class wig from Pearl's.

Jesse: And a leotard?
Me: Yes.
Jesse: Nuh Uh.
Me: Uh huh.
Jesse: What else?
Me: A tutu if I want.
Jesse: Nuh Uh.
Me: Uh huh.

She turns to the woman sitting on the other side of her. Grammie, Aunt Shea says she's gonna wear a tutu to dance class.

My Mom blows her mind, Why not? She can if she wants to.

When she turns back to me her mouth is wide open and those eyes. She just can't believe it.
I don't say anything but give her my best Told ja' smug look.

Today I am especially grateful for my Mom. Jesse is too.


Chantel said...

1 & 2 I can relate to entirely too much.

3 made me laugh outloud.

4 & 5...your mom sounds awesome. :)

Shea Goff said...

She is, Chantel. Thank you for noticing.