Tuesday, June 5, 2012

name the neurosis

Josh holding a weapon eerily similar to the light saber he hit me with as a child.

This is it. I have exactly my response time to a question in a phone conversation to come up with a name for a business I think I may be establishing though I have decided I will clean people's toilets and during my lunch break take photographs of people's toilets and call my blog people's toilets 'cause that's how creative I am feeling at the moment.

What's the name?

It's not we haven't discussed this before. In fact, I spent a week obsessing over it. During that week I called a few people to let them know that the photography business would be called not Annie Leibovitz Photography and in print the not would climb up the side of the A and whenever I answered the phone I would whisper the not part and shout the Annie Leibovitz Photography part. We all agreed it seemed a bit shifty and would likely end me up in court and I would lose the case because of my purple pants. What else am I supposed to wear?

Shea Goff Photography.


Kim's guy/mate/forever lover/common law husband/does it really matter/no/okay, Mark, Shea Goff Photography Marketing Director (now that's a fancy title), would definitely frown on me telling you what is wrong with my company name. At least I think he would since he won't give me any advice until I give him some money. Thus, he is only fictionally Shea Goff Photography Marketing Director and the fictionally climbs up the M in Marketing and you can't read it because it has to be so small that it looks like a fancy design on the M. Right now his job description is simple. He has to exist and I have to think what would Mark say. Mark would say, Don't go on your blog and tell everyone what is wrong with your company name.

Well that was money well spent.

Actually Mark has agreed with me that the name Shea is not pronounced phonetically. It could confuse people like it did my teachers in school or colleagues later in life. In fact the last boss I had thought it was funny to poke fun at my name. Hilarious. I changed my name to Heather in third grade and the PE teacher went along with it but her smirk discouraged me from telling anyone else. Anyway, my theory is if you are looking at an ad for Sally Jones Photography and below it is Shea Goff Photography and they both have local numbers you're gonna call Sally 'cause though there's that extra syllable you know how to say the name.

New name. Call Me Whatever You Want, Just Call Me Photography (also I'll clean your toilets).

Problem with that one is you need enough money or trading in pictures to also include at least one photograph which has to be large enough for people to see sans magnifying glass. Bad idea, name too long.

Shea Goff Photography?

Yeah. Damnit. Shea Goff Photography. I'll send you a photograph of Peyton, we need to say "all occasion" and this little stupid catch phrase I came up with but it sounds so cheesy I won't even write it on my blog and my phone number which will probably change soon and my email address. 

That's it.

Yep. I'd do it but I don't have all your fancy fonts and your mad skills so please.

When is it due?


You're kidding.

Yes. Yes, I am. It's today. That's better than yesterday, right?

Yeah, okay. You're killing me.

I love you. Does that help?

Send me the photograph. I'll send you the ad this afternoon.

Thank you. You rock. It makes no sense at all that I am Mom's favorite.

You really must click on the photograph to see all the love.

Today I am grateful for my brother Josh who has developed an obsessive need to hit golf balls very hard and very far. I can't imagine why.

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