Friday, May 11, 2012

when your life could serve as a warning but you keep going for the good example

Six months ago today I quit my job.

We'll go to a restaurant, listen as a violin plays some music.

happy anniversary, we'll whisper and toast each other with lemon and water. we'll giggle in a delusional state.

It wasn't six months ago when I decided to do this. It was a year and six months ago or about that time when the phones stopped working properly at the place I was employed. Small thing really, just a phone. Just that the people on the phone sounded like they were falling down a tunnel. Thinking back now I guess it's funny when you consider I ended up screaming at my customers, I don't know if you can hear me but I can hardly hear you. Please tell me your name and number. I'll try to call you back. I'd get off the phone in tears so mad at what they had done.

Now maybe we need to say, like I told Slater, the phone, it was the toothpaste in the relationship. Slater knows. We've had this talk.  One time a couple of years ago he came home mad at his Dad. Not for something which had never happened before but maybe at a time when he felt safe to open up. He got finished telling me what his Dad had done, and I, knowing this had to come, finally said, It's the toothpaste, son.

He looked at me like you're looking now. Six month anniversary and she's finally done. 

What? He asked and then gave me one of my smiles 'cause if nothing else he could depend on his Momma to be the craziest woman in town.

Well honey, you gotta listen. I understand you have never been married before so it'll get a little over your head but stick with me on this. I think you can get it. You see some married couples get in a fight over the toothpaste. She may not roll it from the bottom and that may drive him crazy and that may then become a fight. But it's silly really. I mean, it's just toothpaste.

He smiles bigger.

The toothpaste represents so much more. It's not just what happened tonight. It's just something to focus on. The deal is you're mad and it's okay to be mad and it's okay for a moment to not like your Dad because you love your Dad. You want him to be okay. You see his potential and you see what he does. It's okay not to agree with that and it's fine tonight to admit you open the toothpaste one way and he does another. People are different but we can still love.

About a week later his Dad came to me needing some help. He didn't understand why Slater had gotten so mad at the way he had talked to his own Dad.

You want to know why? I asked.

Yes. He nodded and I was amazed he was so clueless to the answer.

Toothpaste, I said. Then I explained and we didn't talk much after that.

It was the phone but not. Now at six months we have some breadsticks with the water and walk home 'cause at six months I am not where I wanted to be. Still I am getting there. small forward steps to a goal.

Wedding in two weeks.
Published in this next month.
Potential webmaster position with one of my favorite places in the world.
Some great new friends.

And you. You who keeps coming back. you who returns when I don't even want to read my own blog. um. well. Dude, seriously. You know what I mean when I say thank you, right? I hope you do. Thank you so much. You are some of the most wonderfully tenacious and hopeful people I know and it is so good to have you in my life.

Today I am grateful for what my son has taught me.

How 'bout we let this be our picture today? Love, love, love.


Anonymous said...

Looks easy, why is it so hard? It really isn't the toothpastes fault?

Chantel said...

That damn toothpaste. Seriously sticky stuff...

And love, we're quite happy to be here, you inspire us more than you know.

Chantel said...

Aaaak! lol I just clicked on "this" and thought my computer had a short or something! My goodness, do you know how to make a girl's day! xo

Shea Goff said...

Ya' know, anonymous, it might be fun to spend a day blaming everything on the toothpaste.
(lifts fists to the sky) Why, toothpaste, WHY???!!
That is sure to make me smile several times today.

Chantel, you are such a warm and nurturing soul. Thank you. Funny about the link and glad to make your day but you should know I only link to those things I love. Your work is that.