Thursday, December 1, 2011

shadow

Yogi


Preface: If you so happen to enjoy the company of a pet in your immediate vicinity then there should be no explanation for what I am about to write. If not, you may need to know that most if not every pet owner anthropomorphize their animal. Either that or this is likely to be one of those documents Slater uses to have me committed. As they are dragging me away I'll be screaming, But what about Mickey Mouse??!!?



Yogi: Ummm, hello short girl with attitude. Why are you standing in the middle of the road like that?

Billy Sue: (looks away and wishes a car would come right now, swerve to miss her and hit him)

Yogi: Are you, oh my gosh are you about to have a heart attack? That panting is out of control. It's not even that hot out, city girl. (chuckles)

Billy Sue: (turns away from Yogi, develops a limp and begins hobbling to the side of the road)

Yogi: Where have you been? Did you just chase a deer through the woods? I did that last night. I chased him to the sun came up but then I had to get home 'cause I knew Josh would be getting up soon. Even then I didn't look like you. What have you been doing?

Billy Sue: I walked down the driveway and kiss my ass.

Yogi: That driveway? (Yogi looks up to the house where Susie and Josie live, laughs and starts running) Come on. I'll race ya' back up it.

Billy Sue: (looks at me with pleading eyes in the hopes I'll carry her, finds I won't, gets over her limp and miraculously makes it back up the driveway all the while mumbling expletives I can't even write here. total potty mouth)


bless her rapidly beating heart


I am so very grateful for my little bitch.

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