Tuesday, July 19, 2011

overload

I wake up to Towelie wanting to write a memoir and find it to be the one thing you don't want to wake up to. Or maybe you do, maybe it means something you were able to make it past that Southpark episode and onto a blog. My cruel cruel editor has seen some of the handwritten going this way and that notes, the self criticism bled into the paper. It's pretty personal actually, that mental activity going unspoken. At the same time I think it is good to read it outside of ourselves.

Editing hurts.

You take something with which you labored, molded, fought, cried over, laughed into submission. You cut something you thought was solid, woulda sworn it two hours ago but not anymore. It has to go.

And still when you finally hand it to him you do so with some speech that keeps one line in place. You've picked your favorite and you shout it at him and he laughs at you. He'll go one step further and you have announced this the toe to toe, practice doing that head move while snapping the fingers. You land it in front of him.

And he does not respond, not yet anyway.

So the inner critic gets all louder to the point where you can't even read the piece anymore. Whatever he does  to it will be fine.

Writing digitally is different and it shouldn't be I don't guess. It is just not on paper to an ignorantly digitally minded writer.  This right here is more like a personal letter between you and me. You are kinder, you've seen me fail and you come back for more. I think that's pretty special, a relationship where you are prepared to fail and someone allows you and you them.

Maybe not. I am just saying maybe.

Anyway, I feel a big thank you coming on. A thank you to my Mom and my Dad for reading, to my brothers, to Pris and Madalyn, to my sweet, sweet son, to Ellen and Sarah, to CJ, Angie, Nana, Rick 'cause he feels he has to, D and Kim and Pam and Charlie and Rusty and Rebecca and Adam and Betsy and Aunt Sue and anonymous. I think this must be my Oscar speech although I never planned on winning an Oscar.

And, oh yeah, you people who make youtube videos. You rock. Thank you. The video you did of Woodstomp lets me show this. They say legislation discussing taking away our ability to link to each other freely is happening right now, that right could be removed from the system. What does that world look like? Have you witnessed as I have what has happened in the world since we began freely sharing? It, the world, has become more free. Can't we just keep this for free? Or do we have to buy it as well?

Here's the Woodstomp video, brought to you by the amazing Slater Goff. You rock, kid.



Happy Belated Birthday, Charlie.

Tonight the movie is Rivers and Tides. I want to spend a day picking up stones for him. I also want at least one cow with long bangs, but I don't want sheep.



Gratitude.

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