Monday, May 9, 2011

unexpected

I have only had the flu once in my life. It was the year I took the flu shot. I was playing the role of community education director for a local health care facility and it seemed harmless enough since I was responsible for organizing the health fair and it was the first day the flu shot would be available and it was free. Why not? Two days later I was wondering if I had enough energy to get my house clean before I died. I did not. My Mom was going to have to come and be confronted with my dirty house after I died. This and only this kept me alive during my first confrontation with the virus known as the flu.

It is the same thought that kept me from rolling over and accepting the inevitability of my demise this weekend when I was once again confronted with what could only be considered the most awful, fantastically devastating, this was the end virus. It was like when Kim and I were teenagers and went to see all the Friday the 13th movies as soon as they came out and I never understood why those people ran from Jason. I always thought I would just fall down and play dead simply because I am not a big fan of death anticipation, like I didn't want the end to be all panicky.

So as a sick person I just lay over and die. I don't really fight it until....

(1) Billy Sue needs to go outside to relieve herself.
(2) I notice the floor has not been swept or mopped.
(3) I remember there are bills to pay.
(4) I realize Mom is going to have to take care of this.


No, I didn't get to see my Mom on Mother's Day. I won't even begin to get into the details of why. It is quite gruesome. All I will say is she kept me alive. Thanks, Mom.


Gratitude.

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