Tuesday, February 22, 2011

realization

If we are what we believe ourselves to be then I would say that I believe I am here to learn. Everyone and everything around me is teaching me about myself, about my dream. Their lessons flow through this filter I have woven where my judgements, my history, my attitude, my love or lack thereof become as thick threads. The inner dialogue struggles at times with the world outside itself. It has to. We are in this together, right?

Or wait. Maybe not.

Maybe some people want to be the last man standing.

I have found a last man standing in my life and he is leaving. And I am glad. I innately felt a sense of obligation to him when I read his words for the first time. He made me laugh, reminded me of a time. I recognized an underlying anger, a sense of justice, the play of absolute truth and I swam in the ocean of his banter.

I believe myself to be someone who feels obligation, an obsessive duty to gratitude. I tell myself that one must act and not only believe so I try to repair that part of him I attempt to change in myself. Anger. Injustice. My truth.

But between you and me, a little secret maybe.

Don't tell anyone. It could blow my cover.





I don't want to repair anyone. I agree with him in that I have all I can do right here.






Thank you, Adam.

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