Monday, September 27, 2010

fatigued

Crowds are exhausting, and you most likely need to understand that my crowd is any more than five people. Or maybe four people. Or wait, maybe any more than one high energy person. A psychologist friend once told me the majority of experts agree we are hardwired to be either introverted or extroverted. We can't change it.

We can play with it, but when we are being true to ourselves these opposite natures take hold on us. Part of me fights being a victim to anything, but I think my true self knows within which persona it is more comfortable.

Simply explained an introvert can be in a room full of people and find it completely exhausting. In the exchange of human energy an introvert gives theirs away, while an extrovert gains the energy. A crowd feeds an extrovert, fuels them.

It is hard at times and almost completely impossible at others to comprehend someone could have such a drastically different perception of the world, such an innately opposite interaction with life. But they do. My experience is that it is true.

Landscape by Josh Miller

I am exhausted. This past weekend was incredibly fun, but I find myself spent. The energy level is simply too low. I have to refuel, and I can't think of a better way than to come here and relax and write you and look at art and listen to music and read.

Alone is not lonely for some of us.

I am so very grateful for moments like this.

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