Tuesday, July 20, 2010

ticking clock

It could be that when you get this alone, when the existence of all that is around you has its own music, you may find yourself greedy. Not that you don't love others, you do, but you are fearful they will interrupt the melody.

Today, Thursday, I wake up to the sounds of this space. Sometimes it is barely audible like when the sheets rub against each other as I push them from my body or when my feet touch the rug beneath the bed. Other sounds provide a solid bass and lead as the old wood floors creak and the kitchen faucet forces the water into the coffee pot. The crinkling of the wrapping around the muffin, the tinkling of the plate when it's placed on the counter. The wind blowing against the large back window.

It is with such an orchestra that I sit on the couch and continue reading. Gary is writing of spiritual partnerships, and I consider those people in my life who have in one way or another contributed to my growth. Let's just say I had so much to learn because I am surrounded by a multitude of incredible teachers. Too numerous to name unless you wanted to focus on just one. That one would be my Mom.

Mama took us to a small Baptist church not because she was supposed to or because her mama took her. She did it due to her incredible thirst for knowledge. And I can't tell you what she really thought when we came to her with those childhood "but why" questions, all I can remember is that she always had answers which she seemed certain of. From an early age I think she taught me that if I looked hard enough, studied and listened, then I would find the answer.

As our relationship has evolved, and we have each been on some fantastic, sometimes quite hard hitting spiritual journeys we always seem to be able to take time, cut through a little clearing between our paths and discuss what we have seen and heard. In these moments I am acutely aware of and grateful for a spiritual partner who seems to understand we all find our own answers. Now it appears that we have simply become storytellers with each being the others most attentive audience.

Again I have to be aware of time. It can pass so quickly when you have an orchestra playing just for you and a book leads you to a woman you love, but the clock is now ticking.

I need to get moving. Today I have to actually open that front door and meet some guys who are flying in from overseas to visit the place where I get a paycheck.

Yeah, yeah I'm taking two hours out of this forty worth of vacation to do business. I know what you're thinking but this is about my need for answers.

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