Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Moments like these can be created just by their juxtaposition to the mundane surrounding them. Coupled with such rarity they make you stop. Sit even if the building's on fire. 'Cause, well, you have to. Instinctually, you know it.

I say he's maybe sixty with broad shoulders and a thickness about him giving suggestion to a life thus far of hard work and healthy eating. His button down shirt is pressed, belt buckle in line with the buttons, and his boots are clean. There is a distinct energy about him. Maybe it's the eyes, the rhythm of his speech. Even a slow talking southern gentleman, which this guy is of the classic variety, can convey a certain urgency to their thoughts without picking up their tempo. It's quite a talent, I think.

He ran for Governor of Mississippi several years back in a Republican primary. He had never held an elected office and never ran for any other seat.

I question his logic. Maybe politics was something where you climbed some kind of ladder. Ya' know, go for mayor first.

"I don't do anything without going straight to the top," he explains.

And this is when he sits down and proceeds to get my vote, although he's not currently running for anything. Truth be known I think he's already got it. Mainly because he seems like a "no bullshit" kinda guy, the kinda guy I like.

"Most people think that the welfare system is something settled on by the Congress or the Senate," he explains and then goes on to say, "but it ain't. It's executive, and a Governor can make some changes. I ran on a platform called 'You don't get a check'."

"They have those little cards now where they just put money in an account for you, but I always said if you can get up and go to the welfare office and pick up your check.....YOU DON'T GET A CHECK."

"If you have ever been convicted of a felony....YOU DON'T GET A CHECK."

"If you can't pass a drug screen, which you'll be given often....YOU DON'T GET A CHECK."

There are several of these, so many so that he could most likely write a thick novel called YOU DON'T GET A CHECK. A bestseller perhaps, especially in the South. This is nothing I haven't heard before, and in the dream that is this piece of land it seems like common sense. So I nod, possibly purr a bit letting him know it's a good forum for his thoughts and he continues.

"I remember one time when we were flying back to Jackson on the campaign trail, and I had all these young men working for me. They probably didn't get more than three hours a' sleep a week. Always worried 'bout what I was gonna say next. They were good. Worked hard. That night I told them the next day I was gonna tell the people about my mobile capitol punishment unit."

"Your what?" I actually giggle.

He continues, "Ya' see, we spend so much money on these guys that kill these kids, paying them with clemency to tell us where they buried their victims, and I'll tell you the United States Constitution never told us to do that. I ain't gonna believe anybody who tells me it did."

"My mobile capitol punishment unit will take care of this issue and save this state all kinds o' money. I tell you right now if some SOB kills his family and walks out of his home with blood dripping from his body we call three judges to that house. We show them the evidence of what this man has done, and we ask those judges to make a decision right then and there. If those three people decide that man's guilty we call the mobile capitol punishment unit up. They come and give that man the choice. He either takes a bullet between the eyes, is drugged till his heart stops or he's burned on his front lawn."

My new friend here obviously likes the burning scenario as evidenced by his further explanation, "Once he's burned we call the family and let 'em know we're throwing his charred body on the street in front of his home, and they have two hours to pick it up. If they don't come in those two hours we have the sanitation unit come and dispose of that body."

Needless to say, those young men working for him during his run for governor talked him out of telling anyone about his mobile capitol punishment unit. I figure he knew they would 'cause even down here it appears that politics trumps common sense and nobody seems to be willing to say what they think nobody wants to hear.

I think that's the bullshit.